Blonde Jokes???? *Stars*?? (ten points best answer)?

SNRKiwi

New member
Tell me if u like these blonde jokes. If you do please star and tell me which is your favorite. Thanx!

1.Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.

After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."

The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."

2.A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.

The policeman walks up to the blonde and says "Excuse m'am, could I please see your driving license and registration."

The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

3.A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

4.There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

5.The blonde couldn't call 911 because she couldn't find the 11 button on the phone.

6. What do you calla blonde skeleton in a closet?

last years hide and go seeek winner

7.There is a blonde who goes into a store and says "excuse me sir,can i buy that television?"The guy says "no,i don't sell anything to blondes." So the blonde goes home colours her hair red and goes back to the store. She says,"excuse me sir, can I buy that television?" He says,"i don't sell anything to blondes." So the blonde goes home,colours her hair pitch black and goes back. She says,"excuse me sir, can I buy that television?" He says," No I don't sell anything to blondes." She says,"how do u know i'm a blonde?" He says, "only a blonde would think a microwave is a T.V"

8.How to keep a dumb blonde occupied:
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Sorry if ur blond.... this is for a project! Thanks!
 
lol jen urs was great my friend told me that one but it was with a white guy a black guy and a jewish guy hilarious
 
I looove four, but they were all wicked good. (no offense taken)

here's a good one, that's just weird


This man was stalking a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They run into a house. The brunette hides in a bag, the blonde hides in another, and the redhead hides in a third.(don't ask why they just walk into a house or where the bags came from)The man walks in, pokes the brunette's bag, and she goes "Woof, woof!!" so he assumes there is a dog there, and leaves the bag alone. Then he goes to the next bag with the redhead. he pokes it and the immediate response is,"Meow, meow!!!!!" So, assuming that it is just a cat, he moves to the blonde's bag. He pokes it, and hears the reply,"Potatoes, potatoes...!"
 
4 was my favorite lol. (wanna hear mine? ur gonna anyway.)

3 girls, a blonde, a brunette, and a red head rob a bank. to escape the police they all go and hide in a nearby barn. the farmer, hearing of the robbery and noticing his barn door open, decided to go out and check. he goes over to the pigs where the red head is hiding, but all he notices is the oinking of pigs. next he heads over to the horses where the brunette is hiding, but all he notices is the neighing of horses. then he heads over to the big pile of potatos where the blonde is hiding, hes just about to leave when all of a sudden he hears a voice saying "potato POTATO!".

LOL i know its pretty cheesy but i loved it
 
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