1. There were 99 blondes on a plane and one brunette. The plane took off. Halfway through the journey, the pilot said, "Hold it, we're gonna have to drop the wings because you guys are so heavy." So the plane drops the wings. So ten minutes later the pilot says "We still need to lose some weight so I'm dropping the floor. Please hold on to your handles." So they drop the floor. Then the pilot says, "We're still too heavy. One passenger will have to let go."
So the blondes all despair and wonder who to choose. Eventually the brunette volunteers to drop. The blondes all start clapping.
2. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are walking home at night. They're all really tired and they stop at a barn for the night. They hear the farmer coming so the blonde hides in a sack, the brunette hides in a haystack and the redhead hides in a stable. So the farmer comes in and kicks the door of the stable. The redhead goes "Moo" and the farmer says, "Oh it's just the cat then." So he moves on to the haystack and kicks it. The brunette says "Meow" and the farmer says "Oh, it's just the cat." So then he goes to the sack and kicks it. The blonde yells "POTATOES".
3. A blonde goes into a store and says "I'd like to buy this TV." The salesman looks at her and shakes his head. "We don't serve blondes." So she goes home, dyes her hair brunette and comes the next day. "I'd like to buy this TV." The salesman looks at her and says, "You're a natural blonde aren't you?" So the blonde says, "Alright, you caught me. But how'd you know?" The salesman says, "That's not a TV, it's a microwave."
4. A blonde goes into a bar and watches this great ventriloquist act. She finds him very funny, until he tells a blonde joke. She goes into a rant about how some blondes are smart and how you shouldn't stereotype. So the ventriloquist starts to apologise for the joke, and the blonde says, "Don't get into this mister! I'm talking to that little idiot on your knee!"
5. A blonde is on the final question of a quiz show. So she gets asked:
Which bird doesn't nest in a tree? Cuckoo, Thrush, Robin or Sparrow?
She says, "Gee, I'm not sure. I think it's Cuckoo."
It's the correct answer. The host says, "How'd you know it was a cuckoo?" The blonde says, "That's easy, everyone knows that cuckoos live in clocks!"
