My Bipolar II boyfriend of over 8 years broke up with me tonight-- again. He can be incredibly uncaring and mean. Usually he can go along for about 8 or 9 months and then watch out! Tonight I said I am sorry for my part-- I know I make mistakes, that we both contribute to our problems, and he said it is only me. He said he shares no responsibility whatsoever. He went into a rage and does not want to hear from me again. Once, on Christmas Day, I was actually handing him his Christmas gift and he suddenly went into a rage and threw it across the room. He demolished several things in his house. He also threw me out of his condo. Months later when I sent him a get-well card when I heard he was sick, we resumed our relationship. He even told me he had no idea why he acted as he did. Twice I have broken up with him over his raging. He is under the care of a psychiatrist and takes many meds, some of which are for his mental illness and some for his heart condition.
When he is good, he is really, really good. But once this starts he becomes completely self-centered, will not say "I love you" no matter what. The last car he bought, he spent too much money on and went around telling people that I wouldn't see him if he didn't buy the expensive car. That is not me at all-- I am not materialistic. I was horrified when I heard and he could not figure out why I was upset. We went to counseling briefly and the counselor told him to go back and tell the truth and he did.
Once, months after a breakup, he actually said to me, "Thank you for putting up with me." So sometimes he has an awareness of his mental illness. Other times he is a stranger and is in denial, like now.
I do love him though I sometimes wonder why. Despite the fact he is very bright with a Ph.D., he has never worked any place more than three years. I am sure his mood swings are the causes of his frequent job changes. He no longer works as he is disabled due to depression. Friends who have known him for years have seen these rages before I ever met him. The rest of his family lives very far away and have no idea about his mental illness.
I know when he comes out of this period of craziness and rage and blaming me for everything, he will go into a deep, deep depression. And he will suffer. I do not want him to suffer. I do not know what to do.
When he is good, he is really, really good. But once this starts he becomes completely self-centered, will not say "I love you" no matter what. The last car he bought, he spent too much money on and went around telling people that I wouldn't see him if he didn't buy the expensive car. That is not me at all-- I am not materialistic. I was horrified when I heard and he could not figure out why I was upset. We went to counseling briefly and the counselor told him to go back and tell the truth and he did.
Once, months after a breakup, he actually said to me, "Thank you for putting up with me." So sometimes he has an awareness of his mental illness. Other times he is a stranger and is in denial, like now.
I do love him though I sometimes wonder why. Despite the fact he is very bright with a Ph.D., he has never worked any place more than three years. I am sure his mood swings are the causes of his frequent job changes. He no longer works as he is disabled due to depression. Friends who have known him for years have seen these rages before I ever met him. The rest of his family lives very far away and have no idea about his mental illness.
I know when he comes out of this period of craziness and rage and blaming me for everything, he will go into a deep, deep depression. And he will suffer. I do not want him to suffer. I do not know what to do.