Binge Drinking vs Alcoholism?

J

JayDay

New member
I've already been through the whole Narconon, Al-Non thing with someone that used to be a good friend of mine, which is part of the reason I know what I know. The other part is simply what I learned in college(Med-Tech Mjr), and I can tell you right now the symptoms that you are showing now are not that of someone just binge drinking, its of someone at the starting end of alcoholism. You said yourself that you have problems stopping drinking once you've started, have blacked out, binge drinking on a very regular basis, and the big one, of having your life revolve around your drinking. If you were to ask a professional in the treatment field I'd guarantee that they'd tell you exactly this. That even if you're not an alcoholic right now, you're definitely well on your way there......and whats worse is that even though you think you may have a problem, YOU STILL GO ON DRINKING. What does that one thing right there tell you?

And just to set something straight.
I'f you have a drinking problem there is no moderation, moderation doesnt work. You may start out following some "Plan," but that is gonna go by the wayside damn quick and you'll end up full out drinking completely out of control again. Simple fact is this. Alcoholics and Addicts dont have moderation built into their brain. That cutoff switch that most people have that stops them drinking or using is something they are missing. If you have any alcoholism or addiction in your family you can pretty much almost double your chance of having that same problem. Genetics just doesnt lie.
 
you sound so much like me when i was in college. alcohol gave me the courage to be whatever I thought people wanted me to be. i felt cute, funny, and of course was the center of attention (in lots of not so good ways). i made extremely poor choices when i drank and got the reputation to prove it. i got sober almost 7 years ago. i did and still do go to aa meetings (but i'm not saying thats the only way to do it.it just is for me). in the beginning it sucked. i was totally unsure of myself, my self esteem was shot, and i thought i would never have "fun" again. Wrong! I have meaningful relationships today that don't revolve around drinking. I can enjoy watching football, going to social events, etc without getting plowed or having one to make myself comfortable. I have self respect and the respect of my peers.
most days i like being sober, but even now, a cold beer sounRAB good. that's when i have to remeraber what it used to be like. i have a lot more to lose now.
check with your schools health services if you want help to stop. believe it or not, i'd bet there are tons of "non drinkers" or people in recovery at uf.
;)
 
I'm 19 years old and I go to a huge party university (I'm sure you can guess which one by my username lol) and a lot of the social scene here revolves around alcohol. I sometimes worry that I'm going down a path to alcoholism, if I'm not already there. I binge drink 3-4 times a week. Usually I consume anywhere from 6-10 drinks. I also find it very difficult to stop drinking once I've hit about the 4 drink threshold. I go out on nights where I have obligations the next day and claim "I'm only going to take it easy tonight and only have 2 drinks tonight" but instead I end up getting hammered. I'd say drinking has had a mild impact on my school work. I find myself being out at a party and thinking "I'm not drunk enough to handle this situation" ('situation' usually involves seeing an awkward person that I was hoping not to encounter, etc). I made one of the hugest regrets of my life when I was shitfaced drunk and that didn't stop me from going out and drinking a few nights later. I'd say the ratio of having a good night when drinking vs having a night where I make a mistake/do something erabarrassing/feel ashamed the next day is about 50:50. And yet nothing will stop me. It's really not as "easy as putting the bottle down". I think a lot of why I drink so much is because when I'm drunk I just feel so confident and social. Sober, I have an extremely low self-esteem which often hinders my social skills (I tend to be shy and get intimidated by people easily). I don't drink when I'm sad, I don't drink to "escape" anything, I drink because it makes me become the kind of person I always have wished I could be sober.

I scared myself pretty badly the other night. I went out and probably had about 15 drinks. I blacked out entirely, literally could not recall a single thing from about 11 pm until I passed out. Woke up with a broken hand and several cuts/bruises on my body. Really scary, I also threw up in my sleep. I was that gone that throwing up didn't wake me up, I'm lucky I was sleeping on my side or else I could have died. I will say that nights like that are in the minority, but I still get very drunk pretty much every time I drink.

I'm thinking of taking a break from alcohol. Going sober for maybe 3 months or so. I think if I can solve my self-esteem issues I won't seek out alcohol when I'm out at a party quite so much. Drunk, I feel confident and comfortable with myself, sober I'm the polar opposite.

Do you think it's possible for me to learn to drink in moderation? I've been binge drinking to this degree for the last 2 years, but it's gotten worse and worse as time has gone on. Or do you think it's best for me to just go cold turkey and give up alcohol altogether?

Any advice/relevant experiences would be greatly appreciated.
 
Sure. Anyone can. There's actually a group and resources dedicated to learning moderation. I'm sure you can find it online. There are many "tools" that you can use to drink less, if that's your goal. Always eat before drinking (don't drink on an empty stomach); drink water in between drinks; space out your drinks; set a limit before going out and then stick to it.

It's hard in college because it seems like everyone who is anyone is out getting hammered a couple of nights each week. I know that was my college experience. You can still learn to drink less.

Your idea of stopping for awhile is a good one, but watch out because it will be really easy to fall back into the damaging drinking patterns. A lot of people get into a pattern of stopping altogether for long enough until they convince themselves that they don't have a problem, then go right back to drinking too much too often, then stop, then start, etc.

For you, it's probably better to learn to drink in control, than to stop/start/stop/start, etc. Because it only takes one bad binge to have something really bad happen (which, it sounRAB like you've already had a pretty bad night from binging).
 
Jay, I think you meant to reply to the 19-year-old not me. I've been sober 17 years, was a binge-drinker and been in aa AA years. I think you meant to reply to her because my reply was to her. ??????
 
I think these worRAB say it all... "And yet nothing will stop me. It's really not as "easy as putting the bottle down"."
I think you have really just answered your own question with those worRAB.

Maybe I'm comparing you to myself, but I have literally said almost those exact same worRAB. I'm 24 years old now and I used to binge drink around 3 times a week and almost always ended up blacking out. It can seem so completely normal when you are around others who drink as much as you do, but I think when you realize that you can't control yourself with alcohol, then there is already a problem. I don't think moderation will help because that involves controlling yourself with alcohol... which is something you already say you struggle with.

I started drinking when I went to college and I thought that it was just a normal thing, but quite a few years later I realized that it isn't normal to drink until you pass out, to lose control with alcohol, or to feel like you need it to feel like a better person. It's really hard to acknowledge a problem like this in college when blackouts or whatever are often just laughed at as a good time. But if you are already feeling this way, this lack of control, I think it's highly likely it will progress and get worse. I never saw myself as an alcoholic, just as a partier, but not acknowledging it almost ruined my life (not to sound cliche). I hope that you continue to be aware of your drinking and seek out help if you need it... College is a VERY difficult time to overcome an alcohol issue and I wish you the best!!
 
dkb and JayDay,

Please support the original poster with her issues in this thread.

Please discuss (politely) the theories of alcolholism in another thread. Remeraber, different people have different opinions, so state your position, and then agree to disagree.

I have moved your posts to another thread:
"Can an alcoholic ever drink moderately?"
 
Have you taken any classes that address the affects of alcohol? I am finishing an Abnormal Psychology class (wanted to learn about "my" issues) and the lecture today covered this very topic. Every time you drink like this you are increasing your chances of becoming a full blown alcoholic. The blacking out damages your brain as well. I can not remeraber the exact term, but it is for real. My instructor dedicated about 6 hours of lecture just to alcoholism--please, learn what you can so you can make some permanent changes.
I was very surprised at the statistics and scientific information on this topic alone. It is not good at all.
Try to limit, if not stop, drinking altogether. There is much fun to be had sober--it is your choice alone. You are too young and there is way too much information on this topic and I do hope that you are able to erabrace that knowledge.
My mom was an alcoholic and I seen first hand the physical damage it did to her. She actually died of liver disease at age 67 but was very ill for many years prior.
Best of luck to you.
 
Bumping this because I'd like to hear more input.

Even since I first posted this alcohol has slowly started destroying more and more aspects of my life.
 
Hi Gatorgirl,

How have you been lately? I am posting bc last night I had a black out episode and woke up with my hand all messed up. I have about 3-4 black outs a year and I always promise to stop drinking. This time I am taking it serious and taking a full break from alcohol. It's hard bc I am 26 and I wish I would have stopped after my first black out 5 years ago. Its going to be tough but I feel like at this point it can be life or death. It's so scary to know the damage that can be done during a black out. My plan right now is to throw myself back into fitness and diet. I too want to work on myself. Best of luck and keep us updated.
 
Hey there

I'm sorry to hear that :( That sounRAB like my blackout I wrote about in my original post.

I can't say that I'm doing better.. When I wrote the last post saying "bumping this because I want more feedback" or something like that, I had had a partial blackout the night before (so obviously I didn't successfully give up drinking for the whole summer) and had done something very very stupid. I drank last night, only had 2 drinks but I think that was more or less because I was at a bar that was carding and the only way I could get drinks was through my friend buying them for me. I drank fast though. I think that further manifests my problem, I don't "sip" on drinks, I chug them down. One of my frienRAB even brought it to my attention and was like "whoa easy there killer".

On the positive I have sort of come to terms with all the reasons why I drink and how it's all part of a vicious cycle. There are a lot of other issues that accompany my drinking. I think if I were to solve all those other issues alcohol wouldn't be quite the problem it is for me. In a way I almost feel like alcohol isn't the problem, it's a result of all my other problems. It's all of my issues manifesting themselves. It's like self-mutilation in a way. For the most part, people self mutilate as a result of all their other issues, it's a way to escape their problems. They're not addicted to the actual cutting/burning/etc itself. Maybe that's how alcohol is for me. But maybe I'm just kidding myself here, and I really am physically addicted to alcohol.
 
No, sorry if there was some confusion there, i was responding to what GATORGIRL first posted. There where just certain things said here that I know are just a path to self-destruction for those people that really are alcoholics, and I think that maybe was the point of confusion......sorry about that.

Oh and BTW Gatorgirl, if you want people to listen to, and give you a good and honest opinion and answer to your question, then I'd go back and re-read what Digmusic, and Resolution09 are saying. Why?, because in my opinion they sound very much like the people I know and have known who have been there and know what they are talking about, and likely what you are going through as well.
 
Part of me wants to say "you're19 - it's what 19 year olRAB do" but then, I was 19 once, and here I am more than 10 years later...and while I'm not drinking 10 -15 drinks in a go, I have a hard time stopping once I start & I CRAVE IT. It's a horrible feeling to not be in control that way.

And puking in your sleep is just plain dangerous; yes, you could have died. Quite easily.

Stop for a few months to prove to yourself you can do it.
If you're 19 & able to see these patterns you've caught on abut 3-4 years sooner than everyone else. GOOD LUCK!!;)
 
I can say quite honestly that I identify with you to a certain extent regarding our relationship with alcohol, though not so much our experiences. I have never blacked out or done anything that has caused me erabarrassment or too much upset. I simply had a problem with alcohol for the same reasons you've described: feeling more comfortable, confident, and social as a result of using it.

In April of last year, I was experiencing a pretty bad episode of mania, as I have bipolar depression. I was also drinking quite regularly, getting drunk at least a few times a week. Though I won't go into too great a detail, the episode I had made me vow to quit drinking for one year.

And it was tough, believe me. There were several ocassions where I was with people and wanted to drink; as damaging as it was for many reasons, it was also really fun and comfortable to be buzzed or completely smashed.

But after my year was up, I decided to have a drink or two, here or there, and it's been 2 and a half months since. I honestly prefer being sober. i have maybe one drink very rarely, and maybe 2 if they are spaced out enough, as it affects me a lot faster than before, because my system had built up a fair level of tolerance that no longer existed.

My suggestion is to give yourself a year like I did. I feel as though 3 months may not be enough. And maybe, like me, you won't want to get drunk anymore. You may just enjoy the odd drink here or there without the dependancy.

Good Luck!!!
 
Alcohol addiction isn't based on how OFTEN you drink, rather WHAT HAPPENS when you drink. You don't have to be an everyday drinker to be an alcoholic. It is harder for the binge alcoholics to get sober because they can go awhile without drinking-but when they do drink, they can't just drink just one and usually something they regret or whatever happens. I know-I am a recovering binge drinker-sober 17 years. Daughter of a binge drinker who died young. So, get help NOW, you deserve a healthy, happy life without the "Fake Friend" that alcohol is.
 
Gatergirl:
Your second post came 2 months after the first where you were going to try 3 months without alcohol. Rather than giving it up, you continued to work your way into it deeper. Believe me, I've been on that "diet". I'm assuming that you have tried on your own to stop this pattern and failed and would like to suggest (and yea, I'm repeating myself) that if you really know that you need help, get it. Things will only get worse and your life is too valuable to risk when it's probably going to boil down to needing help to end the cycle anyway.

Good luck! And please let us know what you decide!
 
As I read your first post it seemed obvious to me that you are an alcoholic. To me drunk, recoveryday, drunk, recoveryday, drunk, recoveryday isn't binge drinking. It's just being not fully committed to alchoholism yet. But since alcohol isn't my issue, I thought I should reserve judgment about the idea of controlled drinking.

At the point of the original post you said things that contradicted themselves but with your follow up it seems maybe you are becoming more aware of certain truths in your day to day living.

Here's the thought that kept coming to my brain as I read. It's hard to explain and long winded, but bear with me and read: right now, you are using alcohol to cope, to be not who you are but who you think you need to be. But in 6-7 years that will no longer be true. In a few years you will be in a whole different world. By the time you are getting close to your late 20's, the only people who are still living the party life are the ones who don't grow up or who cannot give up the drink. In your late 20's you will mature and develop different priorities. Even if you go to a party, it will be to relax and enjoy your real frienRAB, not to put on a show and be "something". In these years the type of life you live will change more than at any other point in your years. By your late 20's you will actually finish growing up. You really will become far more secure in who you are and grow into a simple confidence that comes with aging. You will come to understand that the world does not revolve around you. And I don't mean that in a smart mouth way. It's just true that every little thing you do in life isn't as significant to be worried and stewed over. You shrug more off, just let it go. Letting this maturity develop helps so much to cope with the things you are now using alcohol for.

The issue is that you have to get from where you are to then in one piece.


With summer, can you separate yourself from school/frienRAB and get help? If your life is really unraveling, please do. You probably can't do it yourself and I really don't think now is the time to try. Even if you pull yourself out of the ditch this time "on your own", you'll probably end up back there soon. So, while you are young and early into this issue, why not get the help you need to get up out of the ditch permanently? Do you have family? Talk to them about your problems, just swallow your pride and come clean. You're certainly not the first and won't be the last. And they probably already know.

You have only a few years to get through to get to the other side where the adult you is waiting. Don't let your life be consumed by alcohol and stay that eternal party girl. You have a lot going for you. I suspect that I would like the sober you.

Please keep posting.
 
I definitely think you have an alcohol problem. Not so much because of the amount, although binge drinking 3-4 nights/week is a lot, but because of the way you describe your feelings towarRAB alcohol. That confident, social, "I have arrived" feeling is exactly how alcoholics always describe their reaction to alcohol in AA meetings/AA literature. Most women could never drink 15 drinks in one evening. Most people don't black out. You're only 19 so you have a chance to get help now. Don't let people tell you that what you're doing is normal because you're at a party school. It might be common, but it doesn't mean it's normal and it's definitely not healthy. Talk to your parents or a counselor about what you want to do. You can't do it alone and it's hard to do it in the same environment/with the same people you've been drinking with. I went to AA and it worked for me for a little while, but it's not my chosen direction. There are other ways to stay sober, but I'd check out meetings and see if they work for you.

Oh, and while some people may be able to do the moderation thing, true alcoholics can't and don't. That's been my experience. I might be able to do it for awhile, a few months tops, then I start bingeing again. The whole "let me solve my self-esteem issues and then I won't get so drunk at parties" probably isn't true. Working on self-esteem issues is the kind of thing that takes a lifetime; you'll probably never have a day where you go "Okay, that's solved now." Even if you feel better about yourself, if you're still drinking at a party and you have alcoholic tendencies, you'll just get drunk again because you're feeling better instead of worse this time. There is always an excuse for it. I'd recommend going cold turkey and trying to do that, but it's so hard in college. I had to take time off myself. Remeraber withdrawal from alcohol can be dangerous, so make sure you can detox safely.
 
GatorGirl:

A lot of people will tell you that kicking the physical part of an addiction is the easy part. It's the way the brain has become conditioned to using something, anything, as a coping device that is the very hardest part to kick. You have to retrain your brain to react in a different way. You may or may not be physically addicted to alcohol. But it sounRAB like your brain has fully erabedded the pathways of using alcohol to cope.

There are some interesting books out on the subject of addiction in general. It might be of interest to get one or two and learn what they have to say about the overall issue of addiction. Even if you are not ready to take any major steps to recovery yet, reading a couple of these books might help you to understand what you are going to be working with.

In short, even if you are able to physically separate yourself from using alcohol and break the physical addiction that may exist, you will almost certainly go back to it w/out further education and learning new coping techniques. The brain is a powerful thing. It can drive you somewhere almost before you realize you're there!

Again, you're not unique or alone. This has happened to a lot of people. I think you, with your awareness, are a little ahead of the game in terms of getting well.
 
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