Betrayal or not, What is your opinion?

[2beautiful4wordz]

There is this guy that I really love and always have. We met when I was a freshman in high school and he was a junior..Anywayz we dated briefly in high school but I ended up moving to another town and attending another high school about 20 minutes away. So this guy we'll call him Mr.J. would come over and get me after school to hang out. So eventually we went our seperate ways and dated other people other experiences..But it has always been something there...No matter how much time passed he would show up at my house or call me. So a few years back he wanted to be with me, I was so insecure because I gained weight and when I did see him I acted like a insecure wreck and turned him off..Fast forward...This mutual friend of ours is absolutely in love with me..so Mr. J and I had fallen out ova something I can't even remember...So when he would be over our mutual friend's house Mr. J would ask to intercept our convo and ask to say hi to me, and THE BETRAYAL... he told our friend that I was manipulative and that I had gained ALOT of weight and that's why I wasn't hanging out like I used to..Which was true. It's like I feel conflicted because he wasn't lying but still feel betrayed...despite all the things he's done there is some type of affinity towards him I can't explain there is something unspoken between us and I think he was just jealous he wasnt spending time with me like he craved...Le't's face it weight gain is a turn off and can you blame someone who is used to seeing you 100lbs lighter....how can people say take me as I am if you are not even your best self....what do you think?
I want to come back in Mr. J's life but I want to be a better person..Not for him but for me. I have to have confidence and self love in the bag because despite his actions this is the person I know I am supposed to be with.