Kitty (K.M.L)
New member
High above us on the mountain, I saw another rush of flame. The hellish firestorm came down upon us then – each ball of fire was little bigger than a dinner-plate at the head, but that wasn’t the point of them. The fireballs were designed to set things alight, not to demolish with force.
I called for Stelios and he picked up immediately.
‘They’re here!’ we said at the same time.
‘Ananias, I need you to get the villagers out of there. We didn’t expect anything of this scale.’
‘I know. I’m on it. Get your agents up to the mountains and get rid of whatever’s launching those fireballs!’
‘I can see them. They’re wooden catapults, but the arm is lined with fireproof material. The enemy are perched on a ledge of the mountain. They’re dipping leather balls into oil and setting them alight.’
‘I don’t care what they’re doing, just stop them!’
‘We’re on it!’
The town was alive with smoke, fire and screaming. So quickly, the morning had gone from tranquillity to chaos. Villagers rushed past me, wide-eyed and pale-faced. They scrambled in all directions.
‘North!’ I shouted to them. ‘Go north!’
Smoke billowed into the sky and blotted out the sun. Through the blackness, a fireball crashed through the roof of a house near me. The noise was incredible.
Choking on ash, I hurried over to the burning building to check for residents.
The inside of the house looked like something out of a nightmare. Already, flames were spreading in all directions, distorted and blurred through the smoke. Nothing was identifiable. The house and all its furniture had become kindling.
‘Help me!’
A man was trapped underneath a collapsed table, scrabbling to free himself. Flames were licking dangerously close to his head and his beard was already flecked with glowing embers. Covering my nose and mouth with my hand, I fought my way through the inferno and threw the table off of him. The hairs on my arms were beginning to burn away and my skin was slick with hot sweat, but I ingored the discomfort. There were far more important matters to attend to.
I seized his hand and helped him out the door. Looking back, I saw a blazing rafter beam collapse from the ceiling and crash into the table, sending embers and sparks flying across the room.
‘Was there anyone else in the house?’ I gasped, fighting to breathe.
He shook his head. ‘Just...just me.’
‘Run,’ I told him, pointing him away from the mountains. He did as ordered, and I raised my voice. ‘Everybody run! RUN!’
So, you know how you write a conflict scene and you're not really looking for spelling/grammar/structure errors? Well, I've got that. This is sort of in the middle of the scene, can you help me out?
Thanks
I called for Stelios and he picked up immediately.
‘They’re here!’ we said at the same time.
‘Ananias, I need you to get the villagers out of there. We didn’t expect anything of this scale.’
‘I know. I’m on it. Get your agents up to the mountains and get rid of whatever’s launching those fireballs!’
‘I can see them. They’re wooden catapults, but the arm is lined with fireproof material. The enemy are perched on a ledge of the mountain. They’re dipping leather balls into oil and setting them alight.’
‘I don’t care what they’re doing, just stop them!’
‘We’re on it!’
The town was alive with smoke, fire and screaming. So quickly, the morning had gone from tranquillity to chaos. Villagers rushed past me, wide-eyed and pale-faced. They scrambled in all directions.
‘North!’ I shouted to them. ‘Go north!’
Smoke billowed into the sky and blotted out the sun. Through the blackness, a fireball crashed through the roof of a house near me. The noise was incredible.
Choking on ash, I hurried over to the burning building to check for residents.
The inside of the house looked like something out of a nightmare. Already, flames were spreading in all directions, distorted and blurred through the smoke. Nothing was identifiable. The house and all its furniture had become kindling.
‘Help me!’
A man was trapped underneath a collapsed table, scrabbling to free himself. Flames were licking dangerously close to his head and his beard was already flecked with glowing embers. Covering my nose and mouth with my hand, I fought my way through the inferno and threw the table off of him. The hairs on my arms were beginning to burn away and my skin was slick with hot sweat, but I ingored the discomfort. There were far more important matters to attend to.
I seized his hand and helped him out the door. Looking back, I saw a blazing rafter beam collapse from the ceiling and crash into the table, sending embers and sparks flying across the room.
‘Was there anyone else in the house?’ I gasped, fighting to breathe.
He shook his head. ‘Just...just me.’
‘Run,’ I told him, pointing him away from the mountains. He did as ordered, and I raised my voice. ‘Everybody run! RUN!’
So, you know how you write a conflict scene and you're not really looking for spelling/grammar/structure errors? Well, I've got that. This is sort of in the middle of the scene, can you help me out?
Thanks