Assualt

Chase H

New member
Something really fucked up just happened about 10 minutes ago. One of my very good guy friends came over to see how I was doing. I haven't seen him for months. We sit on my couch and talk. All of a sudden he sits on top of me, trying to pin me down. I push him off of me, and try to defend myself. He makes a fist and swings for me, I get a metal pole and threaten him to get out of my house. I then call my soon to be spouse. (Husband, for those who don't know I am a women)He tells me to call the cops. I am worried this might get even more severe, any suggestions? Should I get a restraint order? I already called the cops, I am just a bit upset, and stirred up right now.
 
Man. Talk to him from a distance, see what's up. Assault is serious business. Maybe it was drugs, maybe he was holding some crazy grudge. You might just have to get that restraining order.
 
Chop his penis off and throw it in the high grass in the park.

Seriously though, you already seem to know what to do. Cutting his dick off would just make things a little funner!

Actually, you should probably chop his balls off first. Then he'll cherish his ding dong for the rest of his life, and he'll stay the hell away from you.
 
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