OK, i have a son after having sex where my bf came in me by poking a hole in the condom because he thought I wanted to have a family with him after a hypothetical sentence about kids. The plan B and abortion pill both cost money where I live and I was completely broke to the point where some days I wouldn't eat due to no food. I didn't want to give him up for adoption due to the fact that I was attached to him and so was my family, but after the delivery I feel depressed and it keeps getting worse and I am the only one taking care of my son. Not just making sure he has everything to survive but everything he needs emotionally too like playing, and cuddling and even loving him when I really just don't want him there sometimes. My bf does nothing but sleep and play games on the computer all day. And i usually come home to him sleeping while our son is crying and screaming his lungs out. I'm afraid to still give him up for adoption because I'm worried my feelings will change for him. A history of being bipolar runs in my family as well as depression. I NEVER take anything out on my son, in fact when I feel sad about my life I usually just cuddle him. It's very complicated as to how I feel and my emotions flip flop and i can't really control them. I plan on giving my son everything he wants even if my feelings don't change. But I don't know why I feel the way I do. I was so excited when preggers but then everything just went downhill the more everything just fell apart. I guess my expectations for my "perfect family" just crumbled when reality came.
Anyway, any advice is good advice, except when I get hate mail from people who think I'm a bad mom, because I am the most caring person this little boy has and I take care of him like how I would want to be treated and then some. Don't say I'm horrible just because you have loose ends in your life left from daddy or husband issues. your issues aren't my concern or else the question title would be "want to criticize me because of your life's sob story?"
Anyway, any advice is good advice, except when I get hate mail from people who think I'm a bad mom, because I am the most caring person this little boy has and I take care of him like how I would want to be treated and then some. Don't say I'm horrible just because you have loose ends in your life left from daddy or husband issues. your issues aren't my concern or else the question title would be "want to criticize me because of your life's sob story?"