I do not know of any Christian groups in Illinois, but I do know that hating yourself and changing your sexual preference is not going to work. You are blaming your sexual preference, which is naturally you, Instead try working on accepting yourself regardless of your eye color, hair color or length or any other thing you do not like about yourself. Realize your full potential as a human being and you will soon realize that your issue has nothing to do with your sexuality. Please, I encourage you to try counseling.