My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for a little over a year. I had planned on moving in with him next month because I was told I would have to wait 9 months to a year before I would be able to go to follow on training after I commission as an officer.
However, I got orders that are sending me to school only six days after I become an officer and my boyfriend started talking about getting engaged before then since we were going to ostensibly be apart for another year. I am going to be stationed at Ft. Hood (he's in Boston) but he's planning to move down there when I finish with my training.
I was really excited because it's a huge step in our relationship, but also because I just turned 30 and would like to get married soon.
However, shortly after I made arrangements to have his band made by a local jeweler he said that he wanted to postpone getting engaged because of travel expenses and because he didn't want to buy me a cheap ring. He also said that having to get a ring on a limited time table was stressing us both out and he didn't want either of us to be unhappy. I told him that I didn't care how much the ring cost because we could always buy a better one in a few years but that didn't sway him.
I am upset because now I have to call this jeweler back and cancel my order before she does anymore work which is so embarrassing. I'm going to have to all my friends that I bragged to that I'm no longer getting engaged. I'm also upset because having a solid commitment from him made me feel so much more secure in my relationship. I'm also concerned because his mother is convincing him to buy a second property which I think will prove an obstacle to him moving.
I am just so heartbroken. I have been through a couple of really bad relationships and had given up on ever finding a decent guy until I met him. He made me change my mind about never getting seriously involved again and I really want our relationship to work out. I'm trying not to put any pressure on him, but him going back and forth is making me have serious doubts about us and my first instinct is to bail. I really do not want to get hurt again and I get the feeling this is what is going to happen.
Can someone please tell me what to do?
However, I got orders that are sending me to school only six days after I become an officer and my boyfriend started talking about getting engaged before then since we were going to ostensibly be apart for another year. I am going to be stationed at Ft. Hood (he's in Boston) but he's planning to move down there when I finish with my training.
I was really excited because it's a huge step in our relationship, but also because I just turned 30 and would like to get married soon.
However, shortly after I made arrangements to have his band made by a local jeweler he said that he wanted to postpone getting engaged because of travel expenses and because he didn't want to buy me a cheap ring. He also said that having to get a ring on a limited time table was stressing us both out and he didn't want either of us to be unhappy. I told him that I didn't care how much the ring cost because we could always buy a better one in a few years but that didn't sway him.
I am upset because now I have to call this jeweler back and cancel my order before she does anymore work which is so embarrassing. I'm going to have to all my friends that I bragged to that I'm no longer getting engaged. I'm also upset because having a solid commitment from him made me feel so much more secure in my relationship. I'm also concerned because his mother is convincing him to buy a second property which I think will prove an obstacle to him moving.
I am just so heartbroken. I have been through a couple of really bad relationships and had given up on ever finding a decent guy until I met him. He made me change my mind about never getting seriously involved again and I really want our relationship to work out. I'm trying not to put any pressure on him, but him going back and forth is making me have serious doubts about us and my first instinct is to bail. I really do not want to get hurt again and I get the feeling this is what is going to happen.
Can someone please tell me what to do?