just_dance
New member
Im a 22 yr old girl, felt depressed since 14, suicidal since 18. I saught help back in june though because suicidal thoughts were getting really intense and i really wanted to end it. I was then in out-patient treatment the next 9 weeks...and then there was a gap for a month and a half before i started psychotherapy which i've been doing ever since every two weeks.
I was doing so much better after i finished the out-patient treatment....gradually but slowly getting better as time went on. Eventually like 2 months later i felt like a completely different person....not a suicidal thought ever, maybe once or twice - but thats nothing compared to how i used to think of it daily. Then coming up to New Years i felt on top of the world... Literally! And i was praying to god every day...just thanking god for everything, and i mean EVERY THING! But its so wierd because that slowly started to fade and sometimes i'd feel fine, other times i'd feel really off like how i used to feel but hide it anyway...and especially last week because of valentines day i felt really lost and lonely and i dont know,
i feel like i have up's and downs by every couple hours...the other day i cut myself because i thought my close friends werent there for me and thought they just pittied me and the only reason they ever hang out, couple hours later came close to committing suicide....then 2 hours later i was singing and dancing along to Michael Jackson while cleaning....then the next day i talked to every single one of them (only have a few) and i was like "oh they actually are my friends"....felt absolutely fine.
Its SO wierd, but i wasnt diagnosed with anything i was just told i'm emotionally unstable.....but this seems like theres got to be something i have that they're missing because that drastic suddon mood change is not normal.. Which is why im asking if anyone with emotional instability was ever doagnosed as actually having something or were you just told emotional instability..?
I was doing so much better after i finished the out-patient treatment....gradually but slowly getting better as time went on. Eventually like 2 months later i felt like a completely different person....not a suicidal thought ever, maybe once or twice - but thats nothing compared to how i used to think of it daily. Then coming up to New Years i felt on top of the world... Literally! And i was praying to god every day...just thanking god for everything, and i mean EVERY THING! But its so wierd because that slowly started to fade and sometimes i'd feel fine, other times i'd feel really off like how i used to feel but hide it anyway...and especially last week because of valentines day i felt really lost and lonely and i dont know,
i feel like i have up's and downs by every couple hours...the other day i cut myself because i thought my close friends werent there for me and thought they just pittied me and the only reason they ever hang out, couple hours later came close to committing suicide....then 2 hours later i was singing and dancing along to Michael Jackson while cleaning....then the next day i talked to every single one of them (only have a few) and i was like "oh they actually are my friends"....felt absolutely fine.
Its SO wierd, but i wasnt diagnosed with anything i was just told i'm emotionally unstable.....but this seems like theres got to be something i have that they're missing because that drastic suddon mood change is not normal.. Which is why im asking if anyone with emotional instability was ever doagnosed as actually having something or were you just told emotional instability..?