A
Athena
Guest
I'm gong thru a little of a tough time, trying to get over a guy. I need to laugh. Anybody know any funny joke?
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R
rhino
Guest
This one won me the best answer a little over a year ago.....
A rich man is walking along the beach and finds a bottle. Upon opening it, a genie appears, and promises to grant him one wish (and tells him he cannot wish for more wishes) for freeing him. The man ponders his opportunity. He has way too much money, power, and status then he knows what to do with. Finally, he tells the genie that he has always wanted to go to Hawaii, but is scared to death to fly. His wish is for the genie to build a highway bridge, complete with restaurants, gas stations, hotels, shopping malls, etc., that extends from San Francisco to Honolulu so he can drive out to the island anytime he wants.
The genie tells the guy to be reasonable....There is not enough raw materials in the world to build such a structure, he could not force people to stay out in the middle of the ocean to operate the businesses against their will for over a week, and it just was not something that could be engineered. He tells the rich man he will have to wish for something else, but promises him that he will grant the next wish.
The rich man ponders his opportunity again, and then tells the genie he wants to be able to totally understand the mind of women. He wants to be able to comprehend how they logically think, why they behave the way they do in given situations, and just how to keep his own satisified and happy at all times. Upon pondering this request for awhile, the genie finally answers with, "Did you say you wanted it to have two lanes or four?"
A rich man is walking along the beach and finds a bottle. Upon opening it, a genie appears, and promises to grant him one wish (and tells him he cannot wish for more wishes) for freeing him. The man ponders his opportunity. He has way too much money, power, and status then he knows what to do with. Finally, he tells the genie that he has always wanted to go to Hawaii, but is scared to death to fly. His wish is for the genie to build a highway bridge, complete with restaurants, gas stations, hotels, shopping malls, etc., that extends from San Francisco to Honolulu so he can drive out to the island anytime he wants.
The genie tells the guy to be reasonable....There is not enough raw materials in the world to build such a structure, he could not force people to stay out in the middle of the ocean to operate the businesses against their will for over a week, and it just was not something that could be engineered. He tells the rich man he will have to wish for something else, but promises him that he will grant the next wish.
The rich man ponders his opportunity again, and then tells the genie he wants to be able to totally understand the mind of women. He wants to be able to comprehend how they logically think, why they behave the way they do in given situations, and just how to keep his own satisified and happy at all times. Upon pondering this request for awhile, the genie finally answers with, "Did you say you wanted it to have two lanes or four?"
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Guest
Ok well read this one. You'll probably wish it happened to your guy lol.
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"