I say you need to do something you don't like to do at least once a day. Go to work, go work out, go volunteer to help homeless people, go clean your house top to bottom, call that person you've been meaning to call, do at least one uncomfortable thing every day and you will snap out of this. Trust me, I've been where you are. Trying to find the most painless way to kill myself. Wondering if I did end it, would hell be waiting? But I'm still here and it's really because I forced myself to do shit I didn't like to do and I got involved with people who I looked up to. People who were smarter, better looking, more successful than me. They make you want to be better. Fight off the jealousy and low self esteem and puff your chest up and tell yourself, FUCK IT, I HAVE ONE LIFE TO LIVE, I NEED TO QUIT BEING A FUCKING PUSS AND GET SHIT DONE! Don't give up and kill yourself though, it's a big risk if the Bible is right about people going to hell if they kill themselves. eternity is a long fucking time, you know? I wish you the best and you should know that there are people out there who care about you.
Good luck
Good luck