Any stupid newspaper headlines?

H

Hann.X

New member
For my history homework I have to come up with my own Penny Dreadful newspaper article and it has to have a really stupid story

My friend has done: Butcher beats wife to death with pork chop

and I have writers block and really can't think of anything any suggestions would be greatly appreciated please :)
 
This might be a bit rude, but...
I did hear a real story about a week ago about a man who went for a swim naked, returned to his sun lounger, fell asleep, and when he woke up his testicles were stuck between the panels! They had shrunk in the sea and returned to normal size while he was sleeping. The fire service had to cut open the lounger to free him.
 
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