Any other military wives who just feel like they don’t fit in with this lifestyle?

Mei

New member
I am married to a Marine who is deployed yet again. He has been AD a LONG time. He is over 11 years older than me and I am 25. I am nothing but loyal and faithful to him while he is deployed. However, I feel like I don’t fit in with this lifestyle sometimes. I look around and see these women that are these selfless, overzealous cheerleaders for the USMC and their husbands. I don’t walk around with Marine Corps garb on, do not have my car decked out in stickers/magnets and I do not belong to any wives organizations. I actually feel guilty at times because I am not one of these women saying “My husband is my hero” or “My husband fights for your freedom”. I just can't stomach that crap......

I am too busy working on my MBA because I was insistent that I was not going to let my husband’s duty station determine my life or lack of. It is just stressful that I am limited in my options for employment and education due to my husband’s job. I feel like I am in a crisis right now of my life goals and I feel weighed down. I am nothing but supportive, loving and here 24-7 for contact with him on deployment. I have never left his side, yet I feel like he has left my side when he deployed on me again, this time for over a year.

Am I the only wife out there who has had issues dealing with the role that you are supposed to be selfless and give up your aspirations? I feel guilty at times that I am not acting like a damn fool like some of these wives are blindly supporting and jumping up and down about their husbands jobs. Am I realistic in knowing that there is more to me than just being a military wife, or what? I just feel lost right now with no one to talk to.

I want so much in my life for me and my husband and it’s hard to build that around the military. I am proud of him, but I wonder what I can do to feel more upbeat about this dumb deployment? I try to let him not see the depressed stressed out side, but again it’s hard. Why do I have to be perfectly happy while he is gone? Why can’t a wife be depressed or stressed? Sorry for rambling….it is just I am really alone in this situation.
 
you are NOT alone, I think I owned one Navy sweat top and that was his that I would snuggle in when he was out to sea yet again.

I would not be quite so standoffish about the other wives, often they do not have the confidence that YOU do, maybe with a little guidance they could see that there could be much more in their own lives.

The ones with all the magnets / pins etc etc always made me a bit nervous as to be honest these [in the navy] where amongst the first to be slipping a new man in for the duration............. I married late into the US Navy and gave up a very good career as a teacher [in the UK] to follow him to the USA and was stunned to find that out of 20+ houses I was the ONLY one with a job, degree and a life [also the only one NOT on medication] several of them you could excuse as they had little ones but holy poop what about the other 10 or so that had NO reason not to be doing something.

Where about [roughly] are you stationed...........
 
I know when I got out I found it different to follow my husband around as a civilian. I do not do any of the FRG meetings or wear any spouse support clothing either. I help out if I can only because I do have military experience and currently a reservist.

Anyhow yeah I was in a great nursing program and had to leave and the end of the first term. I just picked up again when we arrived at the next station. My husband was in 160th for awhile and was either deployed or at a school for almost 2 years. He realizes that if I stay busy I'm more calm. This way to in case something does happen I can still support myself and take care of our child.

My husband is supportive of me though. My having a successful career will only benefit us in the long run. I did pick nursing so I could follow him and be able to find work.

I write in a journal to vent and when I'm more mellow I talk to my husband. I try to stay looking ahead it helps me.
 
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