K
kiwi
Guest
Do you like my poem?
any suggestions for improvement/constructive criticism is appreciated.
My Best Friend
And so, in her room
Her company was
A worn out old broom,
A brown piece of fuzz,
Some lipstick – deep red,
White stains on the floor,
A small empty bed,
And deep marks on the door.
And a Blackbird flew by her window.
She sat on the ground
And thought hard about
How the new love she'd found
Had already bowed-out.
“This isn't my fault,
It simply won't do!”
As she considered the dolt
Who dropped the last clue.
And the Blackbird shat on her window sil.
“It's Your fault,” she'd cry
Her thoughts turning blue,
“You told him a lie!
...even though it was true.”
And she thought of a plan
To change her unluck
And of just the right man
That she now had to f**k.
And the Blackbird broke through the window
And devoured her soul.
any suggestions for improvement/constructive criticism is appreciated.
My Best Friend
And so, in her room
Her company was
A worn out old broom,
A brown piece of fuzz,
Some lipstick – deep red,
White stains on the floor,
A small empty bed,
And deep marks on the door.
And a Blackbird flew by her window.
She sat on the ground
And thought hard about
How the new love she'd found
Had already bowed-out.
“This isn't my fault,
It simply won't do!”
As she considered the dolt
Who dropped the last clue.
And the Blackbird shat on her window sil.
“It's Your fault,” she'd cry
Her thoughts turning blue,
“You told him a lie!
...even though it was true.”
And she thought of a plan
To change her unluck
And of just the right man
That she now had to f**k.
And the Blackbird broke through the window
And devoured her soul.