Anxiety - feeling of inevitable death

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First of all, I'd like to thank anyone who reaRAB/replies to this.

Hi, my name is Colin, and I'm a 20 year old anxiety sufferer (From what my doctors have told me). Starting about 2 months ago, I started feeling a constant soreness/clenching feeling in my chest around my heart. I started to become very worried because I had no idea why it was happening, and that I was sure there a possibility of my heart failing, or that I was going to have a heart attack. It was very uncomfortable for me to sleep with this feeling and, nearly every night I went to bed convinced that I wasn't going to wake up in the morning. This went on for a few days until one night I awoke with a racing heart beat, and I couldn't settle myself down. I made the decision to go the emergency room and figure out what the heck was going on. The doctors took the my blood pressure, pulse, and an EKG, and told me that there was nothing wrong with my heart, and that the reason I had this feeling in my heart was because I had anxiety. So, I scheduled an appointment with my family doctor and showed her the EKG read out. She also took my blood pressure/pulse and told me there was nothing wrong. The only thing she saw that was different with my heart was that on the EKG read out it showed that I have something called a 'sinus arrhythmia', which is (from what I'm told) a very regular, irregular heart beat. Still, nothing to worry about.
I should mention that about two years ago, during the summer time also, I felt similar feelings in my chest. Except they went away after maybe a week or so, and I never ended up going to the emergency room or being convinced I was going to die. Why the feeling I have now haven't go away like last time...I don't know.
So time went on and I never had another panic attack. However, the reassurance my doctor gave me that I wasn't going to die, and the relaxation exercises to help me didn't last long and I really felt no difference. Eventually I ended up going to the emergency room again cause I had never gotten over the feeling, for whatever reason, that I was going to die. I couldn't handle it anymore, I would walk around my house not knowing what to do with myself, and constantly 24/7 thinking about this whole situation. Constantly having my mind wracked with all this crap, becoming extremely frustrated and almost like I was just going to lose it and freak out.
So as I said, I went to the emergency room, and just started balling to the triage nurse, I ended up seeing one of their therapists who said he sees someone like me about once a week. After explaining my situation to about 3 different people and to the last therapist he finally gave me some medication called Clonazepam. For about the first 2-3 days after I started on the medication I felt pretty good. This was about 3 weeks ago. Now, I still take the same medicine, and ponder whether or not it's actually having any effect on me at all. Every day, I have this feeling in my chest still, it's a little different then it used to be. Almost like a brick is in there instead of my heart, it doesn't hurt but it's uncomfortable, and I can feel it more when I do any range of things from coughing to burping. In addition to that in the past week I've felt sometimes I need to catch my breath more after speaking or that if I speak too loud or take too deep of a breath I'll make it worse cause it feels like my heart is getting pressed or clenched more. Even though my heart feeling has changed a little since two months ago I still have these terrible feelings/thoughts that I'm just going to die, for whatever reason, I just am. These things don't just don't come on sometimes, I feel them all the time unless I'm totally preoccupied with something else. And even when I'm feeling a little better i still have this feeling looming over me as if something just isn't right, and it feels like my chest, along with me just aren't totally relaxed. To be honest, I almost don't know what it feels like to be 'normal' or 'feel good' anymore. Still nearly every night I go to bed convinced I'm going to die, and that's it my time. I don't know why. Heck, I'm 20 years old, healthy, and my doctors tell me I'm fine. Except for whatever reason I can't let this go. I feel like I should just be able to wake up in the morning and feel fine...but I don't. This whole situation is really getting me down cause of these thoughts/feelings of dying. I'm really not even anxious about it, it's like I'm almost out of place here, and I can't stand it. I can't live like this anymore, lately every day I've been coming home from work and crying to my parents because I can't stand this. As far as the people that are around me, and everyone at my workplace are concerned I seem fine. But I'm not.
I don't know why this is happening to me, I don't know why it hasn't gone away, and I don't know why I can't let go of the fact that I won't die since so many doctors/therapists are telling me I'm not. Like I said, I can't live like this anymore. I have another appointment with a therapist for some counseling on Tuesday, but I don't even think I'm going to make it until then, even though I've lived the past 2 months like this.

Thanks to anyone who reaRAB/responRAB to this. If you've gone through anything similar or are going through something like this PLEASE reply.
Like I said, I'm 20 years old and the fact that I think I'm going to die and leave my frienRAB, not get married or have kiRAB, is just eating away at me, I need a solution.
 
have you seen a psychologist or a psychiatrist? That would be the first place to start.
 
It is definitely anxiety. Anxiety can cause SOO many things within the body.

I have been where you are (and still am a bit) but please know that with some passing time and a little effort, you will feel much better.

It may be helpful to see a psychiatrist for medication to help ease the intensity.

Here are some suggestions based on my experience:

Do you have lactose intolerance? It can start around your age and cause certain feeling as you describe. Test it out by cutting out dairy for a while and then try talking to your doctor about this possibility.

Do you do a lot of physical activity/work/exercise that involves your back/upper body?
Maybe try getting a therapeutic massage- there are trained people who can help with physical symptoms/anxiety.

Also try exercise, yoga, join a sport, etc if you are not already involved in these things-they greatly decrease anxiety and bring peace and balance to the mind and body.

What were you doing before the pain started?

Has something stressful happened to you lately or in the past that is resurfacing now?

How do you feel about your life? Are you content about where it is now and where it is headed? Do you like your job, do you have hobbies that interest you? Do you have frienRAB and family to support you?

Is there something about yourself or your life that is bothering you? Has or Is someone in your life treated/treating you improperly? Do you like yourself, do you take care of yourself, do you put your neeRAB first instead of always catering to others?

Hopefully this helps somewhat. Let me know if you have any questions or want to discuss things.

All the best.
 
hello...i have not posted on this board lately but i decided to visit and saw your post....and i can kind of relate. im 20 years old i have a 3 year old son and i have health anxiety-which seems like something worth looking into for you. my biggest fear is a bran aneurysm. if i have any feeling in my head neck or face i think im going to have a brain aneurysm...i have to look at my pupils at least 40 times daily to make sure they are not dilated or anything like that. everyday all i think about is that oh my gosh am i going to have a brain aneurysm and everything to me is a "sign" that i will. but i do know that this is all anxiety talking. i have also had worries about my heart...and that is scary. i thought that i had hert disease but i leraned that what i was feeling was actually normal and then the stuff passed. in the last 2 year i have "had" colon cancer, heart disease, and a brain aneurysm/tumor....which again is a sign of health anxiety-switching from illness to illness. a lot of times there is something that causes your anxiety toget worse. i dont know if i really had a situation that made meget more anxiety. i do know i have been more anxious than most people my whole life...when i was as young as like 7 i can remeraber being scared of having an asthma attack and quitting breathing-i dont and never have had asthma.....so it was not likely i would have an asthma attack.....these feelings are classic anxiety-even the chest feelings. the fear of death is a part of anxiety and it will not go away until you figure out what is causing the anxiety...that is the hardest part-realizing that you need to take care of the anxiety and not just the symptoms the anxiety gives you...good luck and i hope you the best.
 
Oh my, this sounRAB so much like what I have for symptoms.

First off, I am 40 years old, male. I started the same chest pressure feelings with a 'pending doom' feeling that comes and goes. This started just 3 days ago. I also had burping sensation so I thought I had integestion but things would get worse - about 2 times a day. Today I finally went to the ER and had an EKG which was a-ok. They said it was a panic attack. I then called my primary care doctor and got in to see him and he too believes it is a 'panic disorder'.
Right now as I type this I have chest pressure and my jaw is tight as heck. My doc wants me to exercise every day starting tomorrow and told me to try not to focus to much attention to 'looking for a job' - as I've been laid off recently(8 weeks ago).
What gets me is this "just started out of the blue". I have always been worrisome but not to this extent. Now I have this pressure feeling that comes and goes and when it comes I start to worry and it spirals for an hour or so then slowly goes away...but this happens on and off most of the day.....
Anyway I am scheduled for a stress test in a couple weeks (to rule anything else out) and I hope these symptoms lesson before then.....
Good luck to you!
 
I completely understand- my anxiety is associated with accidental death. I'm just convinced that I'm going to die in an accident and leave my children motherless. I have anxiety, panic, and OCD. It's good that you are seeing a professional to get help and know that you are not alone.
 
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