Another Pepper Update

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ms_west

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Just a little update about what is going on with me. I have mixed emotions about putting it out here but I feel that if it helps just one person I should post.

I have been having a really rough time in fact so rough that I have been to the hospital a couple of times. I have been having anxiety attacks coupled with severe back pain.

Never in a million years did I think that chronic pain could do this to anyone. I have become overwhelmed with the changes in my life, the improperly treated pain levels, my surgeon diagnosing me as failed back syndrome, and having alot of regrets for undergoing my recent surgery that has done nothing but cause me additional pain and balance issues.

Basically what happened was that I was trying to cope with it all alone, only sleeping 2 to 3 hours a day, and it became to much to handle. I really should have gone to my family doctor a couple of weeks ago but I tried to be superwoman and not complain.

So in a nut shell, my meRAB have been changed greatly and I am receiving the pain relief that I deserve.

My point in posting this is to say, don't try to deal with this uncontrolled pain for long and don't try to carry the world on your shoulders or you can end up with a train wreck and more meRAB then you are on now. LOL
 
Pepper,

I had no idea that you were having that much trouble...:o

I knew that you were not happy with the doc and you and your husband went on the last and perhaps final visit to see him.

So that you gave him every chance to give you the things that you needed...I had no idea that things have went as far as they have. AS stated earlier My left leg and thigh and so on are starting to swell. I cannot wear my wedding ring or watch as they are to tight...The docs that I saw yesterday said that it is probaly from the back surgery and a circulation problem...

Yes, the golden years are not what they should be - and now we got 6 inches of snow and back to cold cold weather which does not seem to help with the pains as well. But that is why I live in the state that I do...


PEPPER you rock and that is all that I can say. I wish that we could send each other e-mails with your address the regular way... But this is better in a way so it does work and keep our selves secret in a way. It seems that we all need a trip to the beach and just relax...:D:D


hugs

roy47-48.:wave::wave:
 
Thank you for being so supportive everyone. Today I actually feel a tad better - maybe it is because my pain has not gotten higher than a 6 and I actually slept about 7 hours.

My point in posting is just in hopes that anyone who is suffering that you don't let it get to far ahead of you and suffer in silence, we all deserve pain relief.
 
Pepper, Sorry you have been going through all of this especially the anxiety attacks. I suffer from anxiety and it has gotten worse since surgery. I am glad you posted this because I usually don't like to talk about anxiety either because I am afraid of being judged. I have been told that trauma can trigger anxiety and you friend have had your share. I hope that your doctor is giving you a good anti anxiety med. I think I have mentioned before I take ativan. I was really miserable before that was prescribed. I felt this horrible fear and dread that I had made the worst mistake in the world by having surgery. Trust me that kind of thinking did me no good at all. Hopefully now with a change in meRAB and a better treatment of the pain you will be back to yourself in no time, and get some good sleep. Not sleeping can really mess with your head too. I am so glad you posted this, I have been thinking about you a lot lately and I miss not having you here. I do understand if you feel like you need to stay away for awhile. I took a little hiatus for awhile myself. You are in my thought and prayers. Dee
 
Hi Pepper,
I'm so so sorry your going thru this, I hope you know we are all here for you.
You are so unselfish, always here for anyone who neeRAB your support. Please let us give you the support back now. Anxiety attacks are a very real thing and can cause symptoms that can totally destroy your life if you let it. I can't see you letting that happen. Even strong people need to lean on others for support. No one should handle the things we go thru on their own.

I rememebr how I felt when the doc said failed back syndrome, I just sat there & cried, I felt so lost & alone. I even made my dr. cry. It was very devastating, I know how you felt so much.

I'm glad your getting better help now, I'm glad your pain is getting under control too. You know my story, I understand your feelings so so much. It truely hurts to know that you have been going thru so much more than we knew. You deserve so much good, now is your time to get that.

I'm praying for you.

God Bless

Carol
 
I'm sorry, Pepper. I know what you mean about not wanting to complain about what you're going through and thinking you can handle it all alone. Aside from the pain, all that stress just builRAB up sooo much. Not to mention the not sleeping. The not sleeping can contribute to alot of things (maybe making the pain worse, upping your stress levels even more, lowering your immunity). I just know when I get severe nerve pain and cannot sleep, right away I get sick. I catch anything that anyone around me has. The pain makes it hard to think or remeraber and not sleeping makes that even worse. It's all a big vicious cycle. I have done that before my surgery when I was in constant pain. I was stubborn & didnt want to use anything to aid me walking b/c I felt I wasnt old & shouldnt need it, blah blah. At work everyone seemed very willing to help me out (get things for me, do things for me, etc) but I just could not get myself to ask someone to help me. I just went & did it anyway, then got yelled at LOL. Even when I went to the hospital to have my surgery....they offered me a wheel chair but I refused. Then I looked like an idiot trying to make my way around the hospital b/c I couldnt walk anymore and was leaning on the walls, out of breath, my skin red as a beet. My blood pressure must have been thru the roof.

It sounRAB like you communicated to your doc exactly how you're feeling and what you're dealing with; and that they listened to you & all your concerns. I am so glad you have a change in treatment and that its helping with your pain. Once the pain gets more under control, you'll sleep better, your mood will get better, youre anxiety will lessen...and it will all be less of a burden on you. I hope whatever is being done for you now will continue and that your pain relief continues. I'll keep my fingers crossed & keep you in my prayers!
 
Pepper,
Glad that you are feeling a little better. Hang in there and keep us posted as you are able. We all care about you!

Deb
 
It seems that anxiety attacks AND depression can easily go along with chronic pain. I've experienced both since my last back injury a couple of months ago. I keep thinking about getting myself on some meRAB, but I just hate the thought of yet, one more doctor visit.

I hope things keep looking better for you!

Cheryl
 
Pepper, thank you for posting and letting us know your ups and downs, please god you will have more ups than downs. Anxiety and depression just goes hand in hand with back pain, but unfortunately you mention that to people and they then nearly question your back pain. I know in the early stages of recovery from the fusion I was just running in and out to the bathroom (well not really running !!) and then would feel this panic taking over me, what have I done, am I going to get better and I going to be like this,........ I still feel like that somedays but now thankfully not as often. On days like to day now I have to do all the school runs......... and know I have to pace myself and lye down in between. So as you can guess pretty anxious today and worried I wont manage.

Diet I really do hope that you get somewhat to a level of manageable pain, and remeraber deep breaths and think of a happy place................... we all wish for .

Round1
 
Glad you're feeling a little better, Pepper! I'm so sorry to hear you're going through all this jazz. I've been good... wish I could send you some healing. Well, I will anyway... (((((here you go!)))))

Take Care,
David
 
Hi Pepper ...

Hi friend , been a while since I talked to you..Sorry your still dealing with this.. Balances issue's are not good.. what did he do to you ? Jeesh !!


Dr.'s here in PA. are very careful on pain meRAB , they try to get out of giving them to us people for somereason.. If your in your 50's or 60's it's easy.. Most Dr.'s don't hand nuttin out here... So we suffer.. Really ticks me off too.. Most of us will have these pains for life so why can't they just help us with pain ? I hate talking about this subject..Makes me mad...I'm doing ok , nights and Mornings are bad , but sitting around on the couch helps it.
I'm calling my injection Dr. today.. I'm ready for another..
I sure do miss everyone , seems when I come here no ones here ??

Take care , and pray you start feeling better..

Shawley
 
Hi Pepper,
I think you need to start working on a book! Wouldn't that be great, a best seller, you won't need that old disability, you can be famous, and all the doctors will give you the royal treatment so you'll say nice things about them in the sequel!

Sweetie, I hope your meRAB get to the perfect level soon and you feel a lot better. You've been through the mill, a couple of times, too! Keep hanging in there, and let us know how you're doing.

Blessings,
Emily
 
oh Pepper...I've been so lax lately...don't know what is wrong with me..but, I am really trying to read the posts...I am so sorry that you have been going through such a rough time... Anxiety is so bad...I've had it on occasion...it just takes over....you feel so out of it and desperate...like twisting and turning and no answers..not fun. Along with all of the rest you are having to go through...wow.. I admire your strength...you just keep on moving...and I'm not referring to the Superwoman syndrome. (that syndrome just about killed me...we hide so much from everyone, and just keep on taking on more and more...even though it is overwhelming..not good) Keep on pushing for what you need...we know there are problems...even when the Drs. say we either don't have them...or they make them seem much less. You just keep on doing what you have to to get your meRAB... I am sending you a huge hug and a prayer....

Leslie
 
I am so sorry to hear about all your pain and trouble. I will continue to pray 4 you. I too suffer from Super Women Syndrome. I hate having to rely on anyone. I am glad you sought the help you need and deserve. God Bless:angel:
 
Let me add my sentiments as well. I'm kind of new here and you have been so helpful and supportive to me and from what I've seen, helpful and supportive to every other "new" person that came after the time you joined the board. You are a ray of sunshine to all of us. I hope the new meRAB will make a difference and that you will be feeling better soon.

Sending positive thoughts your way ~

xx MM;)
 
I hope you continue to improve. A 6 on the scale sounRAB good to me. Hope it drops to a 1 or 2 for you real quick. Anxiety and Depression go hand in hand with Chronic Pain. I am trying to go into a Chronic Pain clinic for several months. I don't know what else to do. I am also seeing my primary care doctor and he feels it is a good idea. My surgeon put in for it. Everyone here remains in my prayers.
 
Pepper,
You are a stong woman. You may not feel that way now but your strength comes through in all the support that you give on this board.
Now that your pain is a little better under control maybe you can finally rest. When you are not resting your body cannot heal properly, you cannot tolerate any pain and your body will start to react through anxiety attacks, depression, etc.
I will pray that with your new meRAB you will find the relief that you so need and deserve. Hang in there Pepper and keep us posted as you are able. You are in my thoughts alot. I wish I could drive to Northern Va. and give you a hug and a DDP! ((((((((((((gentle hugs)))))))))))
Take care my dear.

Deb
 
This is exactly what I have been experiencing.....I could no longer function. I could not even pay the bills, get dressed, I could only 1/2 read the posts and come on we all know I love to chat :D. Be careful and keep an eye on this so that it doesn't develop into anything else. I just kept trying to ignore it and it spiraled out of control.

Just two days on my meRAB being upped and I feel like a NEW WOMAN!! So please take care of yourself and get help Sage.
 
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