Well I have been getting gradually more and more anorexic the past few months. I am currently 5'6 and less than 100 pounds. I am planning on seeking treatment, but am in the middle of applying for SSI. In the past I have had really bad bipolar, but lately it seemed like it had vanished, and as long as I stuck to the whole anorexic/OCD routine, I was usually quite happy. Unusually happy. But then yesterday, I started to get really depressed off an on, and to the point where I was getting suicidal. I've had these feelings many times in my life, and don't expect myself to do it. I also have thoughts of deleting my facebook, and shutting my phone off because my friends do not care, and they dont need me, and they are better off without me because I am nothing but a burden that has never been good enough and never will be. I have a feeling that this is going to pass though. I am planning on going to see some of my friends later, because I think I will feel better. I also currently have my phone turned off, because I am tired of checking it just to find no one has contactedme as usual. But the way they stare at me is one reason I avoid them entirely. I don't see the weight loss myself. I just dont get it. they were saying 20 lbs ago that I looked different, and I didnt believe them. I have been in the hospital 22 times for suicialism, and I am only 22, and I guess this disease made me feel much better at first. But I do eat when I can tell that I have to. I am really sorry if i've rambled too much, I just felt like I couldn't stop once I started.. Any feedback?
And now I am starting to feel better all of the sudden?
And now I am starting to feel better all of the sudden?