Angelinmichigan, you there?

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ANGELINMICHIGAN

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Secrets and TaCot, I forgot to tell you. I fell asleep last night about 11:00pm and woke up at 5:35am. I was soooooo happy. That is the longest I have slept in 3 weeks so hopefully that is a good sign. I hope I can do it again tonight. Take care everyone Lyn :angel:
 
Congratulations on the sleep!! You must feel so much better. I am so happy that you finally got that much needed sleep. Happy Monday! TaCot
 
That sleeping problem really stinks Lyn! I feel terrible for you. My husband deals with the same thing.. Can't sleep to save his life.. They have tried sleeping pills like Arabien among others and nothing worked for him.. However, he never gave them the chance to mess with the dosage so in my opinion something could have worked for him... It's frusterating for him and me now that he is being stubborn.

I feel for you big time.. You need rest in order to heal. I am glad you have a doctors appointment tomorrow! Maybe then you can get some help with this. I had a hard time sleeping for a few weeks were I would only get a couple hours every night but you are not even getting that and I thought I was going to go postal if I didn't get some sleep! So you are a tough woman to say the least!

Wishing you a restful day and I am praying for your SLEEP!
Hugs to you!
~Secrets
 
Secrets, thanks again for thinking about me!!!! It sounRAB like you are doing well and I am proud of you. Maybe once I am feeling better I will start to sleep. I just heard from my "chiropractor" on why I stopped coming to him? It worries me, he adjusts my neck, my spine and my hips at least once a week, sometimes more. I have been going to him for over a year. He says "I need to get the stress out of me" and I need to be adjusted and have massages constantly. When he adjusts my neck, I trust him as he says he doesn't go near my titanium pins and plates that I have in my neck, that he adjusts below them, but......the crack that comes out of my neck I am sure you can hear in the other room. My husband came with me one day when I had it adjusted and he was in the room and he said "oh my god, don't ever let me come in with you again", it really freaked him out and then I have had several people recently tell me that I shouldn't get my neck adjusted. I don't know who to believe!!!! I don't really ever feel better after getting adjusted but he says I need to do more "natural things" than them giving me prescription after prescription for all of this crap I am going through. He is afraid by me going to the "pain clinic" tomorrow and that they are going to try and give me "pain killers" again. I told him after this last 17 days withdrawing off of "suboxone" I would never ever touch any of that again. I am on so many prescriptions and to me none of them help. I am on "atenolol" which is a beta blocker for heart palpitations, symvastatin for high cholestorol, etodolac for my bones, prozac, neurontin, cyrabalta 60mg. trazadone, seroquel, arabien and then the doc just gave me Lorezepam which I am refusing to take because he said it is a "controlled drug" so I won't use it. I tried it a couple of times and it does nothing for me so why should I take it. How can the doc. give me 3 different meRAB for anxiety or depression. The only reason I am depressed and so anxious is because I feel so lousy!!!! I am so sorry to complain about my docs and what I am going through. All I want to do is "sleep" and my system will not let me fall asleep. I am going to fall apart soon. I can feel it. Thanks for your kind worRAB again. You take care of yourself and I will post again to you soon. Lyn in Michigan
 
Hey, just wondering how you were doing? I have been pretty tired lately. It was to be expected, I guess. I am on day 13 of being sober, and am very excited and happy about that, but I want to get some energy back. Hope you are doing well and getting some sleep. ;)
 
Oh Lyn,

It sounRAB like they have you medicated to the inth degree. I am so sorry! Maybe it's time to get a second opinion? All those meRAB could really be screwing with your sleep too. I mean I am no expert but maybe a second opinion would help.

While I agree with the chiro that you need to do more natural things because they are healthy for us.. I also know that he is making money off you so of course he wants you to keep coming.. I mean I really don't know what is best for you in regarRAB to you CP but I would think it's time to start asking more questions and maybe start a notebook (if you haven't already) and everytime a question pops into your head you write it down. Then MAKE sure they give you an answer that really makes sense to you and if it doesn't don't feel bad for making them explain it again.

As for going to the pain clinic. My one experience with a pain clinic was just the opposite.. They were AGAINST pain pills very much so and I remeraber I was in the thick of my addiction and I was so dissapointed because I thought for sure they would give me more.... However, they were appalled I was taking 10 percs a day and advised to to wean down immediatly! I sobbed the whole way home. Instead they did some injections and I had an adverse reaction to them.. That's another story though.. So I know each pain clinic is different and your situation is WAY different than mine was but I wanted to share mine with you..

I commend your strength for not taking pain pills even though you have A LOT of REAL pain. I really don't think I could do it. I think it would be a good excuse for me to USE and that is why I pray everyday for my health and to have no injuries because I don't think I am strong enough yet to reject pills if I was in a LOT of pain.. I just don't know.

For the most part I am doing good. Way better than I thought I would be. I am feeling really good for the first time in a long time. I look healthy again. The dark circles I started to get are now gone. Everyone tells me I have my "glow" back... That felt really good to hear.. They say my eyes (which are blue) shine and sparkle again.. Close people knew I was on pain pills because I did have real pain... They just thought I HATED taking them which was a LIE.. Anyways.. When I weaned down and became clean.. About a week after I was pill free people started complimenting me left and right.. People who didn't even know I was on them.. It was weird.. So to me it felt like I got a piece of me back that I didn't even know I was missing because Dr's always told me that I never looked sick (I was very sick, my gallbladder needed to come out and it took them 8 months to figure it out) they said I looked "too good" and "too put together" to be sick.. That is why my Dr. sent me to a shrink because she thought the pain was being caused by my head since all the test were coming back normal.. Finally I begged her to do a test specifically for my gallbladder because a symptom tracker on a different website kept coming up with gallbladder.. Anyways.. I was severely addicted by then.. She did the test.. Called a hydascan and sure enough it needed to come out and it did a couple days later! The pain was gone.. I was "healthy" again and I knew I HAD to get off these pills.. It was out of control.. So I requested a fast wean down program and bam... here I am exactly 70 days later! PILL FREE... I still have cravings and miss the high.. but I like myself a little more each day! Thanks to people like you on this board I now have hope and support!

Back to the pain clinic... Jeez I rarable.. SORRY.... I am terrible about staying on topic. I am probably driving everyone NUTS! SORRY! Anyways.. Just be clear on what type of care you want and always know YOU are in charge of YOU! You have come so far and have done more than I think I ever could. You are an inspiration and you will always be in my prayers!
~Secrets
 
Tacot, hey nice to hear from you. I am glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better and congratulations on your 13th day!!!!! I am on day 16 off of suboxone and I am just starting to feel a bit better. I sure have had a rough time of it. I wouldn't wish this on my own worst enemy. My biggest problem is I am "not sleeping" at all. I go to bed around 10:00 hoping and praying that I will fall asleep as I am exhausted and absolutely nothing. I toss and turn all night and then sometimes around 5:30am I might fall asleep for an hour and then I am up again. I am so figidty (sp) and can't get comfortable and because I have "chronic neck pain" when I get up my neck feels even worse (if that is possible) and it is just a vicious circle. Friday I have an appt. with the "Pain Clinic". I went there years ago and had all kinRAB of injections over a year done the last one being that they "burnt" the nerves in my neck. Where I had my failed surgery 8 years ago, the vertabrae above and below where I have pins and plates is now degenerating and hopefully they can burn the nerves there also. It grows back in approx. 6-12months. Every one is different. We shall see. I just wish like you that I could get some energy back. I feel right out of it somehow!!!! Thanks for asking Tacot, you keep up the good work on how you are doing. Take care Lyn :angel:
 
Hello!!!

I swear.. you poor thing! This sleeping situation has GOT to change for you. Hopefully sometime in the near future it will!

As for thinking about WHY this is happening.... I have done that MANY of nights and here is what I have come up with and maybe it will mean something for you too.. Now... It's nothing earth shattering or anything but what I came up with is that... I obviously had a lot to learn about life and myself. I mean I am sure I still have A LOT more to learn as I am 25 years old but I think I needed to learn this lesson before I became a Mother... before I made bigger mistakes.. to show myself how strong of a person I am.. to prove to myself I am worth all this... to gain some self respect for myself... to be able to look in the mirror again without there being shame.. I don't know.. I guess I could go on and on but the simple fact is, i chose to believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason and this is a path that I am going down for some bigger reason than I can fully understand right now. What I do know is that I am only human and just like everyone else I have made mistakes but what defines "us" is that we are making the changes and we are trying to right the wrongs we have done. At the end of the day it helps put my mind and heart at ease. Doing the right thing always makes a person feel better and I think that being on here trying to help others and letting others help me is healing and fulfilling as well!!!!

I don't know.. Now I am babbling again.. Moral of my point is... right now might seem dark and that there is no light at the end of the tunnel but THERE IS and I promise you if you just keep doing what you are doing the light will gradually creep in and eventually it will be shining all over you. I am here for you and I will keep praying for you to find peace and rest!

I hope you have a wonderful day! I will be thinking of you!
~Secrets
 
That is GREAT! I am so glad you finally got some sleep!! What a relief! I had a vacation day on Friday so I just read your post now about the PM appointment. SounRAB like you have so much going on and I am so sorry for that! You must be so miserable right now! That is a lot to have going on and I am sorry!

I really hope these injections and things they are doing will help you big time! Way to stay strong and let them know your "whole" story! Being in the amount of pain you are and being able to stay strong from accepting pain pills is truly incredible in my opinion!!! You are very inspiring and your story will help MANY Lyn! Thanks so much for sharing it with us!

Did you get any more sleep this weekend? I really hope you did!!!! I hope you have a GREAT monday!
~Secrets
 
Thank GOD this is anonymous (sp?) because I think someone would duct tape my hanRAB behind my back for typing so much today! hahaha

~Secrets
 
Hi TaCot and Secrets

Again, thank you for your posts. It is so nice to have someone (besides my family) who are probably sick of listening to me by now. No....I am not sleeping again. I slept that one night for about 4 hrs. or so and now I am right back to maybe an hour sleep even on the Arabien. It is 5:11am and I have made myself a cup of tea and thought I would read some posts for awhile. I don't even want to get out of bed as the night is soooo long so I try to just lay there and think about "why" this has happened to me???? My husband has moved into one of our other guest rooms so he can get the sleep he neeRAB to go to work everyday. He has been so stressed out also over his job as they have layed off a lot of people and he has a lot of extra work (it is better than losing his job though). If I get up in the night and start doing things he hears me and then he is worried and gets up and can't fall asleep again. He is going to be 60 this year and I will be 58. This is supposed to be the "prime" of our lives and it all seems to be going down hill from here. It is very difficult to think positive when I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel except for the new injections coming up. But.....if I can't sleep, non of it matters as it just makes my pain feel worse and I am walking around like a zorabie because I am so tired and have no energy. Sorry to complain again. Take care everyone and have a wonderful day. Lyn in Michigan
 
Secrets, you don't talk any more than me believe me. It is difficult sometimes to get your story out in a few short worRAB. It was so nice that you wanted to share your whole story with me and I appreciate it because I have shared with everyone also.

I did go to the pain clinic and was there for hours and they definitely knew that I didn't want any pain killers and I told them exactly what I have just been through and I had been there years ago before my surgery to have several different injections done. They gave me a new consultation, reviewed my case all over again, I saw a physical therapist which tested to see how strong everything was or how bad and weak my neck was and looked and old and new xrays and I basically know that I am falling apart. I honestly felt like a lost cause going through my whole story over and over and then telling them about the withdrawl clinic and now 3 weeks of detox after suboxone (which was pure hell, I am not going to sugar coat it) and now I am 100% back to square one with all of my pain in my neck and shoulders and headache, full blown chronic pain.

The pain doc gave me several deep injections in four spots across my shoulders and then in the occipital bone on the left and right side going up the middle of my head. Yuuch they were terrible but I can take anything that might help me with my pain. I have 2 more appointments and he is going to do test shots for burning the nerves in my shoulders and neck again. Then they will do radio frequency and burn the nerves in my left side and then I have to come back a few weeks after and have the right side done. My headache is still in full force but my neck and shoulders feel about 30 or 40% better so I will take that for now. This will last for about 2 weeks or so and then they gave me some samples of some pain patches and a prescription but they are just for inflammation so it is nothing addictable. I am petrifed and don't want to take anything wrong and there is no way ever every again will I be going through "withdrawl". It was terrible.

Anyway Secrets I am heading for a hot tub and a cup of tea. Today I went out shopping for a while which is something I haven't done since Christmas and my headache is working on my last nerve. I will talk to you soon and you take care of yourself. I am very very proud of what you have accomplished and will be thinking about you. We will talk again soon.
By for now. Lyn in Michigan (cold cold Michigan) :angel:
 
Hey Lyn,

I am glad you are feeling a little better but man have you had one heck of a time getting of the sub.. I have felt so bad for you.. This not sleeping has GOT to give.. You are going to go nuts soon you poor thing. I really feel for you and will say a prayer you get some sleep tonight! Maybe you can get some sleeping meRAB from the Dr? I think they gave you some lorezapam before?? Are you out of that? Maybe you could get a refill? You just need some sleep! I hope that with each passing day you feel better and better!

You hang in there and you will be in my thoughts and prayers!
Warms hugs to you!
~Secrets
 
Tacot, are you feeling lately? I haven't seen much. Are you getting yur energy back? Secrets, I am very proud of you, you are doing great and the support you give everyone on here is absolutely awesome.

Take care everyone Lyn :angel:
 
Angel, I am doing much better. I have started walking on my lunch hour to get some fresh air and some exercise, which seems to help my attitude. My husband is 55 and I am 44. My husband has been out of work for three months. He is self-employed, and the work just hasn't been there, due to the economy. Everyone is cutting back and it is scary.

There has got to be something someone can do for you so that you can get some sleep. I think sleeping is part of recovery. We need rest so our bodies can heal. I took Nyquil for a few nights when I was sleeping much. I am sure you have tried everything, but there has got to be something that can help you. I am so sorry this is happening to you. It shouldn't be this hard on someone who wants to help themselves!! I pray that you will get some rest. Maybe, you should go back to your doc and tell him/her that you are still not sleeping.

What about getting a massage to relax your muscles? Just thinking out loud, but maybe that would help some. God, I truly hope you get some rest soon. Thinking of you, TaCot
 
Lyn, How in the world are you functioning, woman? I feel so bad for you having such a hard time. There has to be relief in your near future. I hope that the doc can help you. You need to get some rest. I am glad you posted as I do think of you often and worry about you. Take care, TaCot
 
Hi Tacot and Secrets

Thank you so much for thinking about me and your kind worRAB. Yes I feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown if I don't get some sleep. I was on "Arabien" for about 8 years. I have had insomnia off and on for over 20 years. I do have a busy mind and I guess at night I have problems shutting off my mind (even though I don't think that I have lots of my mind when I go to bed). For the last 8 or 9 years I had taken Arabien every night. I went to a sleep clinic years ago in Detroit and two doctors saw me in their office and said what are you here for and I told them that I had really bad insomnia. They said what are you taking for it and I told them Arabien and they said "does it work" and I said yes and they said "well why are you here then". I told them that I thought that Arabien was habit forming or addictable and they said "if you need it to sleep then you can take it for the rest of your life"!!!!! So, I had been on it for over 8 years every night. When I first started taking it, it worked really well and then my system started to get used to it but eventually I would fall asleep on it. It was actually my savior for many years. When I went to re-hab for opiate addiction (for my chronic pain) of course they took me off of it. My addictionolgist gave me "Trazadone" and I had been taking that but it really wasn't working for me but I kept on taking it because Arabien is one of my med's that I was told I had to come off of. When I started "withdrawing" from "Suboxone" which was 17 or 18 days ago I of course was up all night with the shakes, cold, figidty, heart racing, restless legs and absolutely no sleep in me. I was very very anxious and depressed. About the 6th or 7th night when I couldn't take it any more my husband said that maybe I should go back on my Arabien. I fought it and fought him and said no way.....I didn't come this far and I am not going back on it!!!!! A few days later with still no sleep I was desperate and said OK I will try one but I will go to my new doctor tomorrow (the one that is taking over my case for my doctor that died in a car accident) not the addictionologist. Before I would go back on it full time I would have to have my doctor back me up that he would write me out scripts. for Arabien for however long I needed it which is probably the rest of my life given my problems with insomnia!!!! He did tell me I definitely needed it and he would back me up. In the meantime I took one and even admitted to him that I took two one night that I was that desperate. He told me that he appreciated my honestly but not to go there as 2 - 10mg Arabien is an overdose. I didn't take them together I took one and then 4 hrs. later when I was wide awake I took another one. I have taken one every night since and it doesn't even make me drowsy. I have taken one and four hours later taken a "trazadone" and I can't feel anything. Originally my addictionolgist in the clinic had given me "serequel" for sleep and I hated it. I have never ever taken LSD but I figured that this stuff was making me trip out and I was hallucinating. I have even tried that after the Arabien (4 hrs. later) and haven't felt a thing. I still have the "Lorezepam" and have taken it sparingly as it doesn't do a thing for me either. I don't know what is going on in my system but I don't know what to do anymore. Tomorrow I am going to the "pain clinic" and talk to a doctor there but I don't think he will be able to help me with my chronic "insomnia: I am so sorry my posts are so long. It is difficult to type out only half of your story.

Thanks to all who are supporting me on these boarRAB. It does get awful lonely when you are on your own.

Take care to all Lyn in Michigan :angel:
 
Hi, Tacot, Secrets and Reach, I sent you all a letter and the mod. moved it to "sleep problems" or type in "sleep" at the top of the boarRAB. Talk to you all soon.
Lyn
 
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