Lonely Soul
New member
This guy friend of mine from high school...he was one of my best friends back then and he had a crush on me (only because, even though he'll never admit it, his mother pushed him to like me because she was sure I would make something big of myself in life). We never fooled around or anything. He didn't have many friends because of his ADD, and I was one of the few girls that didn't mind his hyper moments.
Anyway, we reconnected through myspace, and he was telling me that he had been married and divorced and just recently remarried. He wanted to come back to his hometown to visit, and kept asking if we could meet up (with his wife there, of course). I told him that it might be cool. But, he had to let me know when and we could meet somewhere.
Well, right before Valentine's Day, he showed up at my home unannounced (I bought my mother's old place when she moved)! Turns out he was stopping off in town to pick up his dad to take to his next job site. He'd been laid off from his current job but they put him on a "partial layoff" meaning he still worked and earned his pay, but not doing the same work. Anyway, they had to shut off his cell and internet connection, and so he said he hadn't had a chance to call before showing up.
I was REALLY embarrassed! I don't have money to fix this place, and I looked horrible. I don't like seeing old friends because they always have this "What happened to you?! You had so much potential!" look and these pitying eyes when they see how bad my life is.
I couldn't let him inside...the place is basically trashed because we had to stop work on it when I got laid off. Anyway, he hugged me when he got here (creepy)...told me that his wife was leaving him...and then we talked for a bit. He said he wanted to get together on Valentine's weekend to catch up. I wasn't thrilled, but knew he would be a gentleman, and figured dinner at Denny's or something couldn't hurt. When he left, it was awkward...I thought he was going to hug me again, and he was trying to shake my hand. I put out my hand to shake his, and he said "Eh, we're old friends. A hug's ok" and hugged me. But even I could sense that it was a forced gesture.
Valentine's weekend came and went and I was relieved he hadn't called, figuring he'd gotten busy or called back to his normal job. Well, I still haven't heard a word from him. So, I went to his myspace to say hi and that I hoped things were going ok. I knew he hadn't had internet, so hadn't expected him to be on. The other day, a mutual friend asked me if I'd heard from him, and I told her no. It turns out that he's been calling her...and he's been on myspace, meaning he saw my comment and didn't bother responding.
Now I'm not sure what to think or do. I had no intention of dating him...he's married, and even if he wasn't, I've never felt any attraction to him. My heart still belongs to the last guy I was with, and probably always will. But it bugs me that he seems to have blown me off. I guess it hurts more than anything because it was a huge blow to my ego. I know I've got a lot of facial flaws now because of my dental problems, so I'm not that "pretty little girl" he knew in high school. But a HUGE part of me is mad as h*ll that he didn't respect my wishes in the first place. I TOLD him that I wasn't that girl he remembered, and I wasn't comfortable with him seeing me until I make changes to make me feel better about myself...but he still chose to show up.
I have no clue what to do now. He was probably the last person I had to talk to, and even he bailed. It makes me wonder if my exes are right and I'm not even worthy of simple friendship.
I know it's not because he got back with his wife. She was really cool with me, and thought it was great that he'd found me on myspace. She said she felt sort of a bond because we're both half black. She was anxious to meet me...so I know she's not the reason he did this. It kind of makes me wonder...was this way of flaunting that he's got it better than me? Sort of a "Look what you missed out on" type thing? I mean...I see that he has a good life, but I still can't picture us as a couple, but you know...you see that kind of stupid thing in the movies, and I guess it's just making me wonder...
Anyway, we reconnected through myspace, and he was telling me that he had been married and divorced and just recently remarried. He wanted to come back to his hometown to visit, and kept asking if we could meet up (with his wife there, of course). I told him that it might be cool. But, he had to let me know when and we could meet somewhere.
Well, right before Valentine's Day, he showed up at my home unannounced (I bought my mother's old place when she moved)! Turns out he was stopping off in town to pick up his dad to take to his next job site. He'd been laid off from his current job but they put him on a "partial layoff" meaning he still worked and earned his pay, but not doing the same work. Anyway, they had to shut off his cell and internet connection, and so he said he hadn't had a chance to call before showing up.
I was REALLY embarrassed! I don't have money to fix this place, and I looked horrible. I don't like seeing old friends because they always have this "What happened to you?! You had so much potential!" look and these pitying eyes when they see how bad my life is.
I couldn't let him inside...the place is basically trashed because we had to stop work on it when I got laid off. Anyway, he hugged me when he got here (creepy)...told me that his wife was leaving him...and then we talked for a bit. He said he wanted to get together on Valentine's weekend to catch up. I wasn't thrilled, but knew he would be a gentleman, and figured dinner at Denny's or something couldn't hurt. When he left, it was awkward...I thought he was going to hug me again, and he was trying to shake my hand. I put out my hand to shake his, and he said "Eh, we're old friends. A hug's ok" and hugged me. But even I could sense that it was a forced gesture.
Valentine's weekend came and went and I was relieved he hadn't called, figuring he'd gotten busy or called back to his normal job. Well, I still haven't heard a word from him. So, I went to his myspace to say hi and that I hoped things were going ok. I knew he hadn't had internet, so hadn't expected him to be on. The other day, a mutual friend asked me if I'd heard from him, and I told her no. It turns out that he's been calling her...and he's been on myspace, meaning he saw my comment and didn't bother responding.
Now I'm not sure what to think or do. I had no intention of dating him...he's married, and even if he wasn't, I've never felt any attraction to him. My heart still belongs to the last guy I was with, and probably always will. But it bugs me that he seems to have blown me off. I guess it hurts more than anything because it was a huge blow to my ego. I know I've got a lot of facial flaws now because of my dental problems, so I'm not that "pretty little girl" he knew in high school. But a HUGE part of me is mad as h*ll that he didn't respect my wishes in the first place. I TOLD him that I wasn't that girl he remembered, and I wasn't comfortable with him seeing me until I make changes to make me feel better about myself...but he still chose to show up.
I have no clue what to do now. He was probably the last person I had to talk to, and even he bailed. It makes me wonder if my exes are right and I'm not even worthy of simple friendship.
I know it's not because he got back with his wife. She was really cool with me, and thought it was great that he'd found me on myspace. She said she felt sort of a bond because we're both half black. She was anxious to meet me...so I know she's not the reason he did this. It kind of makes me wonder...was this way of flaunting that he's got it better than me? Sort of a "Look what you missed out on" type thing? I mean...I see that he has a good life, but I still can't picture us as a couple, but you know...you see that kind of stupid thing in the movies, and I guess it's just making me wonder...