D
DLINE Enthusiast
Guest
Hey, I hope everyone is doing well today. I'm 16 and I've been going through some troubles as we all do in life, and I was so filled with anger and emotion, that I thought I might take a crack at writing a poem. (I'm angered due to the fact that I am noticing my youth is near it's end, as adult responsibilities are become more frequent, and I still have many things I want to do while being young) Anyway, it would be really appreciated if I could get some reviews on if it's good or bad. Thank you for your time 
Quicksand
I ponder and question, what's the intention behind the federal investments that preach one thing
then pull out your intestines with lies that advise that ass size and brand name Levis are more important than the sunrise
that God bluntly provides, and his reward is a fake baptize.
I'm sick of my people runnin on empty, while your meter is full, fine and dandy on your brand new Bentley.
I'm starting to see bloody, and broadly but at the same time blindly,
why do kids sleep in rags, mud floors, and home made bags
and you still wanna rock your motha fuckin' flag?
I'm tired of how the system operates by cheapskates who should be heavyweight
inmates, we're out here wearing breast plates defending our limited estates from your tax flood gates, and all this continues
to frustrate from the age of eight,
kids, trying to find some broom sticks, bricks, tooth picks, just the fisher price basics cause
daddy was with convicts, out hittin prime time licks, HIV clinics cause of those dirty chicks.
He don't know he already got a
woman, who's been raped by demon congressman, can't you see, this is of course the common.
I refuse to be labeled, broadcasted and
branded, I'd rather be dipped in acid, aint no way I'm singin' this ballad.
I gotta stand in front of these lights, cause I
wanna be one those uprights, who recites that freedom is not an option, but a God given right.
Mom always said, "do what you do"
and I'm gonna do this without the intrusion of you, I can only stay true, close to my breakthrough, stronger than bamboo,
my pride is a naked tattoo, so why this issue?
Why am I upset, angered, and in this roulette? It's time I stand, and give
this world my back hand, I want to expand just me, unmanned, but God will here my command,
and soldiers will crash land
and never again, will we be stuck in this bottomless quicksand.
- Sammy Mortada
December 1st, 2009
if anyone was wondering, *** = as$
To Mthompson, thank you very much, I appreciate your post very much. I understand your viewpoint, but it's very difficult to come out of the hole when you have no clue what's waiting for you. Again, thank you very much.
To Jdrumming: I appreciate your post as well, your kind words are very inspiring. I wanna come back to teenville too man, lotta parties I'm missing out on! haha!
Quicksand
I ponder and question, what's the intention behind the federal investments that preach one thing
then pull out your intestines with lies that advise that ass size and brand name Levis are more important than the sunrise
that God bluntly provides, and his reward is a fake baptize.
I'm sick of my people runnin on empty, while your meter is full, fine and dandy on your brand new Bentley.
I'm starting to see bloody, and broadly but at the same time blindly,
why do kids sleep in rags, mud floors, and home made bags
and you still wanna rock your motha fuckin' flag?
I'm tired of how the system operates by cheapskates who should be heavyweight
inmates, we're out here wearing breast plates defending our limited estates from your tax flood gates, and all this continues
to frustrate from the age of eight,
kids, trying to find some broom sticks, bricks, tooth picks, just the fisher price basics cause
daddy was with convicts, out hittin prime time licks, HIV clinics cause of those dirty chicks.
He don't know he already got a
woman, who's been raped by demon congressman, can't you see, this is of course the common.
I refuse to be labeled, broadcasted and
branded, I'd rather be dipped in acid, aint no way I'm singin' this ballad.
I gotta stand in front of these lights, cause I
wanna be one those uprights, who recites that freedom is not an option, but a God given right.
Mom always said, "do what you do"
and I'm gonna do this without the intrusion of you, I can only stay true, close to my breakthrough, stronger than bamboo,
my pride is a naked tattoo, so why this issue?
Why am I upset, angered, and in this roulette? It's time I stand, and give
this world my back hand, I want to expand just me, unmanned, but God will here my command,
and soldiers will crash land
and never again, will we be stuck in this bottomless quicksand.
- Sammy Mortada
December 1st, 2009
if anyone was wondering, *** = as$
To Mthompson, thank you very much, I appreciate your post very much. I understand your viewpoint, but it's very difficult to come out of the hole when you have no clue what's waiting for you. Again, thank you very much.
To Jdrumming: I appreciate your post as well, your kind words are very inspiring. I wanna come back to teenville too man, lotta parties I'm missing out on! haha!