Alexandra Marie
New member
Hi, Im Alexandra 
16 this year. I need help. For the past 3 years I've been suffering from something very on and off. I don't know if I'm suicidal or not but I keep wanting to kill myself, but it's not me that's thinking all these thoughts. I dont know how to put it across to you guys. I don't WANT to kill myself, I dont have a reason to do so, my life is great the way it is, but it's like another part of me is prompting me to do so. It's like I'm not the one doing all the thinking. I am so scared. I can literally feel a debate going on in my head all the time. Sometimes my head hurts so bad I have to lie down.
I don't dare to tell my parents bcos they'll think I'm crazy. I think I am. It's like I'm fighting a war with myself and I cant carry on like this any longer. Does anyone know what's wrong with me? I need serious answers please. Should I get help? I don't feel myself. I feel unreal all the time (derealization??) and I feel like I'm slowly losing my memory. I suffer from night terrors (sleep paralysis?) and have trouble sleeping every night. Also, when I feel unreal I constantly feel like fainting though I'm scared to "relax and fall" because I'm convinced that I'll "slip into a coma" and never wake up. That's what it feels like.
I am so scared of myself, what if I let my thoughts get the better of me and I end up taking my own life someday? I don't want to die. You've got to help me. I'm losing my mind. I'm only like this when I'm left alone. I'm sociable and get along well with almost anyone. Love my life but I have no idea what is going on in my head sometimes.
Please email me if you have any questions.... or answers for me [email protected]
Thank you so much guys!!!!
16 this year. I need help. For the past 3 years I've been suffering from something very on and off. I don't know if I'm suicidal or not but I keep wanting to kill myself, but it's not me that's thinking all these thoughts. I dont know how to put it across to you guys. I don't WANT to kill myself, I dont have a reason to do so, my life is great the way it is, but it's like another part of me is prompting me to do so. It's like I'm not the one doing all the thinking. I am so scared. I can literally feel a debate going on in my head all the time. Sometimes my head hurts so bad I have to lie down. I don't dare to tell my parents bcos they'll think I'm crazy. I think I am. It's like I'm fighting a war with myself and I cant carry on like this any longer. Does anyone know what's wrong with me? I need serious answers please. Should I get help? I don't feel myself. I feel unreal all the time (derealization??) and I feel like I'm slowly losing my memory. I suffer from night terrors (sleep paralysis?) and have trouble sleeping every night. Also, when I feel unreal I constantly feel like fainting though I'm scared to "relax and fall" because I'm convinced that I'll "slip into a coma" and never wake up. That's what it feels like.
I am so scared of myself, what if I let my thoughts get the better of me and I end up taking my own life someday? I don't want to die. You've got to help me. I'm losing my mind. I'm only like this when I'm left alone. I'm sociable and get along well with almost anyone. Love my life but I have no idea what is going on in my head sometimes.
Please email me if you have any questions.... or answers for me
[email protected]Thank you so much guys!!!!