I'm 23/f and moved in with a 42 year old Indian guy 6 months ago. I was desperate for a place to live and I found him off craiglist. I payed rent to him even though we had a sexual relationship. We developed a good friendship and have much of the same interests. 2 weeks after I moved in we started a sexual relationship. From the start of the relationship, he has said to me he feels bad and that he feels like he's taking advantage of me. During the 6 months, he loved touching and holding me, and he loved the cuddling as much as the sex. He has said to me many times how lonely he is and basically has told me that he wants the touching and holding more than anything else. Throughout the 6 months, we have always said to each other we would stop having sex (because we were both becoming somewhat addicted). Plus, we both knew the relationship wasn't going to go anywhere. Although, he always tried to make sure we have an emotional connection, and not just physical.
There was an incident a couple months ago where we were walking down the street arguing about something ( I don't even remember what) and he pushed me. After he pushed me, he blamed me, saying that I had somehow wanted to be pushed. He also apologized saying that he sometimes can't control himself.
A couple weeks ago, he had an STI scare, which turned out to be a urinary tract infection. However, he blamed me (even before he got the test results) saying that I had given it to him. He also had me thinking that I really did give him an STD, even though I know for sure I didn't. He threatened to beat me up and threatened to sue me for giving him an STD. I was so pissed, I stopped talking to him. After he got the results back, he apologized, saying that he was yelling at me trying to get me to admit to sleeping with someone else. He said he wanted to see my reaction. I told him that threatening to beat me up was unacceptable. He said he was just kidding and that threatening to beat me up is the only way I will learn. He also said that his threats show he can become emotionally distant from the people that he cares about. He says he does not want to hurt me in the future and that perhaps we should not see each other anymore.
A couple times I have brought up to him that I think we should move on from eachother because its not a healthy relationship. He says that we should still remain friends and not have sex anymore. He says that he is concerned that I could get emotionally attached and doesn't want to emotionally hurt me. He keeps on insisting that he wants a friendship with me, without sex.
What should I do?
I moved out of his place about 2 months ago, and he has been coming to my place (a couple times uninvited) when I didn't return his calls, he just showed up. I should never have let him know where I live.
He has even suggested to me that I should see a therapist about our relationship andn talk to the therapist about whether the relationship will hurt me.
He says if I see a therapist, he would not feel so guilty. He also says that I should date and find someone my own age and be in a loving relationship. Yet he says, even if I date other people, he still wants to be friends with me. He claims he cares about me as a friend.
Last night, we had an argument at my place. He was really drunk and started sobbing. He said that he thinks I believe he's trying to hurt me and how he always ends up hurting people and that he doesn't want me to become attached and emotionally hurt me. He ended up leaving around 2 in the morning after I told him to leave.
He spent Christmas with my family because he basically invited myself saying he would be lonely on Christmas.
Now I'm thinking it was a huge mistake to have invited him to spend Christmas with my family.
I want to break off this relationship, yet I invited him for the holidays. Not very smart
It's like I love his attention so much, I want the relationship to feel wanted
There was an incident a couple months ago where we were walking down the street arguing about something ( I don't even remember what) and he pushed me. After he pushed me, he blamed me, saying that I had somehow wanted to be pushed. He also apologized saying that he sometimes can't control himself.
A couple weeks ago, he had an STI scare, which turned out to be a urinary tract infection. However, he blamed me (even before he got the test results) saying that I had given it to him. He also had me thinking that I really did give him an STD, even though I know for sure I didn't. He threatened to beat me up and threatened to sue me for giving him an STD. I was so pissed, I stopped talking to him. After he got the results back, he apologized, saying that he was yelling at me trying to get me to admit to sleeping with someone else. He said he wanted to see my reaction. I told him that threatening to beat me up was unacceptable. He said he was just kidding and that threatening to beat me up is the only way I will learn. He also said that his threats show he can become emotionally distant from the people that he cares about. He says he does not want to hurt me in the future and that perhaps we should not see each other anymore.
A couple times I have brought up to him that I think we should move on from eachother because its not a healthy relationship. He says that we should still remain friends and not have sex anymore. He says that he is concerned that I could get emotionally attached and doesn't want to emotionally hurt me. He keeps on insisting that he wants a friendship with me, without sex.
What should I do?
I moved out of his place about 2 months ago, and he has been coming to my place (a couple times uninvited) when I didn't return his calls, he just showed up. I should never have let him know where I live.
He has even suggested to me that I should see a therapist about our relationship andn talk to the therapist about whether the relationship will hurt me.
He says if I see a therapist, he would not feel so guilty. He also says that I should date and find someone my own age and be in a loving relationship. Yet he says, even if I date other people, he still wants to be friends with me. He claims he cares about me as a friend.
Last night, we had an argument at my place. He was really drunk and started sobbing. He said that he thinks I believe he's trying to hurt me and how he always ends up hurting people and that he doesn't want me to become attached and emotionally hurt me. He ended up leaving around 2 in the morning after I told him to leave.
He spent Christmas with my family because he basically invited myself saying he would be lonely on Christmas.
Now I'm thinking it was a huge mistake to have invited him to spend Christmas with my family.
I want to break off this relationship, yet I invited him for the holidays. Not very smart
It's like I love his attention so much, I want the relationship to feel wanted