Hey Mommashon. I am a 42 year old woman in Australia. I have Bipolar Disorder and Panic and Anxiety Disorders as well as being a 10 years sober meraber of AA. I am also the child of an alcoholic father who drank himself to death and also of a Stepfather who was also a violent , abusive, neglectful alcoholic.
I think that no matter whether you leave your husband and start a new life (which sounRAB great), or stay with him, Alanon, the sister-Fellowship to AA could be so wonderful for you. Even while I was still drinking, I told my Mum about Alanon and she did go there. She did the work they suggested on herself and she totally changed. She found self esteem, she learnt about boundaries and how to apply them. She left my Stepfather but was able to maintain a frienRABhip with him with strong boundaries. I got to AA further along and she died two years ago but she and I built, for the first time in our lives a decent mother and daughter relationship.
This type of change - profound change is on offer for you. You can't change the behaviour of anyone else - be it your husband or anyone else, especially in a family where there is a very sick dynamic. But you can change yourself.
Wendy