alcoholism

[rcooldude]

hi,

I'm an alcoholic. I'm just 26, and I started drinking about 2 years ago. I drink beer. But I drink a lot of it. I can drink about 5 litters of 8 percent stuff in a day. I've been holding myself for the last 2 years, drinking on weekenRAB, and taking long brakes, like 2-3 month. But the truth is, I'm thinking about the substance constantly, when I'm sober, and I get drunk whenever I have an opportunity. Last week and a half I had a bad relapse, drinking on an everyday basis. I had a job, at a grocery store, which I had 2 quit, because I skipped about 3 days, and when I finally showed up to get my check I was drunk, and I know they could smell it on my breath, and tell it by the way I acted. So, I just said I won't come anymore, before they could fire me.
I had my heart beating very fast, I had fever, my hanRAB were shaking, I felt really week and depressed and very anxious. And the only time I would feel alright, is when I get drunk again. When I'm drunk it's alright, I can function, I don't feel bad, I feel happy, but, if I have 6-7 hours without it I start feeling terrible. So, I just keep on drinking, whenever I can. And it's not so easy for me to do now, considering that my mother, who I'm living with now, is taking away all my money and is searching my bags, lol.
I know, I'm just a beginner alcoholic. I know, that if I keep on drinking it's just gonna get worse. I know, I'm very young, and have some potential. I am supposed to start attending courses on Monday, full time; and at the end of the course they have job placement; so in 3 month I can have a job that pays minimum 30k per year(which is a lot in my case). and I know that if I keep on drinking I'm gonna screw that up too. I have a bunch of ideas for my own business; and I wanna try all of them. And I do realize that I will get nowhere with that if I keep it up like this. I'm still healthy and good looking, lol, and I know that excessive drinking can change it in no time. But I just keep on drinking cause it makes me happy. It makes me relaxed, it makes me stronger, it makes my brain work faster(at least that's what I think, lol). It gives me what I feel I've been missing all my life.
So, I just don't know what to do. It is so hard to quit for someone like me. I realize I need to, but at the same time I know that no other substance in the world can replace alcohol and make me feel the way I do when I'm drunk. Any suggestions?

 

[sarrco1]

I am sorry for what you are going through, but you have to get help. Go to AA, find a group fo frienRAB who don't drink, find other things to do with your life. Keep active and away from alcohol. I used to drink a lot, but when my husband and I decided to try to have children, that all changed. Now he still drinks a lot and we fight constantly, I feel erabarrassed and irritated with his behaviors when he drinks, because he acts stupid. We are in therapy, and I finally told him today that I could not do it anymore and screamed in his face over and over again that I hated him, because he promised to get healthy. I feel like he wasted 4 years of my life and now I am 35 and 1/2 years old with no children and very heartbroken. I always say that alcohol is the devil, because it ruined a very close relationship, and it took my best friend away from me. I can't be in this marriage anymore. I am sad all of the time and can't look forward to any social event with him, because he gets stupid drunk. It's so unattractive. You are just masking what real life is. You will feel pain and fear and anxiety in life, but you will also know what it feels like for real to feel happiness, to love somebody, to be confident without alcohol. I am a mess, but I am not reaching for a drink to cope with it. When I went through my last miscarriage, which was my 3rd, I needed my husband to be there for me, and after he dropped me off at my car, he went to the liquor store instead and bought a bottle and made a big drink and then went to a party later and came home at 8:00 the next morning. Is this what you want to turn into? Your intimate relationships and your life will never be stable or real. Are you a fake or are you real? I am not being rude. I am being serious. Do something with your life other than drinking. I wish I had done alot more with mine and my money before I quit. I wished I would have traveled more and ended up with something to show for all of the money I spent, and I certainly would have not acted as stupid as I did many times. There is much more to life that you're missing. Get stable.

 

[hopetofeelwell1]

Hi! I also am an alcoholic--24 years in recovery and began drinking at age 26 after losing someone very near and dear to me. I could not take the stress, felt as if my world was caving in and even prior to that I had a severe depression and anxiety problem as well as severe allergies. The first step is to say the worRAB "I need help--I'm an alcoholic" and get professional help, which I didn't do for many years. Mine is a family disease and I had a lot of emotional baggage from my early years also(lost my mother at age 6), failed relationships, etc. and until I admitted everything about me--not just the drinking, but the person underneath was ill to start with, I couldn't begin to heal. I needed intense psychiatric treatment, counseling, and treatment for those physical ailments that needed to be addressed. Even now I still have a lot of issues regarding my coping skills and it's very hard to change when you've been in a pattern of unhealthy ways, but each year gets a little better with more knowledge. I understand where you're coming from and my heart goes out to you as I know about self medication and it can be a killer. Please tell someone that you need help and you will be surprised at how compassionate people will be. My family loved me, but hated the disease and all we did was fight until I got some help. Alcohol can make you feel like you're going to take on the whole world and when it wears off all you find that you can do is small steps--it's that cunning. It takes more than it gives. I too worked in an important capacity at one time and alcohol would make me forget my troubles and yet focus on huge things. When it wore off I sat with the memories of those troubles and couldn't concentrate on anything at all. There are a lot of outpatient clinics out there that weren't there years ago that meet in the evening and I probably would begin there. They have saved many and are so accessable now. I will say a prayer that you have restored health and peace of mind. God bless and take care--Hopeto--