Alcohol Problem

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Canyons

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Here is my story...

I think that I drink too much. But, I live a really fairly stable productive life. I have never been in trouble with alcohol or lost a job or anything like that. But I must have drinks every day to get through the day. When I can have a few drinks, I feel very good and able to deal with the stress of life. I think that it is the stress that is why I need the alcohol. If I could substitute the feeling I get with the alcohol with something that is harmless to my body, I would do it in a flash! If I could find something to deal with the stress, I would be fine I think. You just don't know how much time I spend worrying about everything. It quite literally takes over my life and the alcohol takes the edge away and calms me down. The stress and worry consume me to the point that I have started drinking even at lunch and sometimes early in the morning...on work days. No one knows about this. I am very good at covering it up. I must have drinks at night to the point of planning it all. When I go out of town, I used to carry my luggage on the plane but now check it so to take a bottle with me. When I drink I feel good about myself. And, I do not drink a lot really..well for me that is I guess...I rarely have hangovers..I know when to stop. I do drink a 1.75 litter bottle of bourbon per week..sometimes I feel that is a lot. I am afraid that this situation is starting to get to me and will affect my relationship with my girlfriend and family. You might ask why it has not yet? I have a long distance relationship with her and my family so do not live in the same town so do not interact on a daily basis. I would appreciate any advice on how to solve this.
 
Hi Canyons: I used to drink 2-3 drinks a day and one day I got blood tests and it turned out my liver did not like the alcohol. So, I quit. It was difficult for only about a week.

When it came time for my drinks I changed my routine by going for a long walk and chugging sodas. I think changing the routine helped a lot.

I don't want to sound lecturey, but if you drink at lunch or in the morning be very careful about getting caught. The problem is that you can't smell it on yourself after a while. If you do get caught you will go from under the radar to under the microscope.

I did manage to quit drinking, but it may not be that easy for everyone. I think alcohol may be one of the toughest drugs to quit because it is cheap, legal, and socially acceptable. Heck, it's not even called a drug in this country. As a matter of fact the government gets rich off of selling alcohol. Then there are the funny, sexy, tv aRAB. It is hypocracy at the highest level.

The only replacements for alcohol I found over the years have been rigorous exercise (can't do that anymore), other drugs (obviously not good), and meditation. Search around for "how to meditate" sites or books and check it out if you feel like it. Diaphragm breathing in conjunction with meditation is not the same as a bourbon, but it does make me feel better. Try 10 minutes of sitting meditation, chug a diet soda and go for a walk.

This is kind of funny. After many years of drinking it actually was an altered state when I quit! I swear going to the store straight I felt like I was high. My senses were way more acute. Go figure.

Last thing. If you have insurance see if you get mental health benefits and try talking to a psychologist. They have talked to hundreRAB of people who have serious alcohol addictions. They know what works and what doesn't. I saw one for a different problem and it was one of the best moves I ever made. It was like free education. It gave me insight on how my thinking processes worked.

Very last thing. Don't beat yourself up. You could be drinking a whole lot more or doing much more serious illegal drugs. I knew a guy who drank a fifth of whiskey almost every day. He died at 62 years old. Very young by today's standarRAB.

I would love to hear how it's going for you. Take care. :wave:
 
I can definitely relate to your situation. I used to drink everyday and for me at least the thought of quitting was terrifying. I never drank during the day but once the kiRAB were down i started drinking. I couldn't imagine going a day without a drink. I thought of all the times I would miss out on, football games, hanging with the guys, camping, etc. Also like the other poster said alcohol is EVERYWHERE. It doesn't seem like a "drug" since it is so readily available and accepted by society.

For me it came down to my wife taking the kiRAB and leaving me and saying unless i got sober she wouldn't come back. The hardest thing was that first night alone in the house. It was at my lowest point and i had to face it without a drink. I started going to NA (i was also addicted to pain pills) meetings and discovered the best advice i have found: i can make it one day. If you decide to quit you can't look at the long road and all the things you will be missing out on, it is just too overwhelming. I don't know you but my guess is that when you drink it takes away whatever pain or stress or worries that you have and makes life bearable at least for a little while. Drinking is a symptom of something deeper in your life that isn't right. You have to find something else to replace how drinking makes you feel, just not another drug.

It is almost certain that at some point you are going to have some trouble from your drinking. All it takes is one DUI for people to look at you differently or one smell of your breath at work in the morning for that doubt to begin. You probably aren't as good at hiding it as you think you are, at least I wasn't. I have learned that I can make it just for today without drinking, and tomorrow is another day.
 
Thanks Matt and SadComputerGuy for your responses. You are both right. I need to stop. I have been to see a mental health professional in the past but it has been a while back. I will check my current insurance to see what it now covers. Back then, I did have some coverage but it was very limited and well since I have not gone in a while my so called bank is built back up a bit I would hope.

This is kind of a strange thought... My stress level is higher because I am in a relationship than when I was simply single with no commitments. I worry so much about my girlfriend and it is so stupid. She is so awesome and loves me so much. Here is an example: I get terrified that she will not call me in the morning like she does every day and when she is late to call I get so stressed that it takes over my life. It is so stupid. I feel like an idiot about it. But it stresses me to the point of major distraction. So, the alcohol calms that. I know this sounRAB crazy and like I just need to get a life and stop worrying but it is real to me and I cannot get past it. Well, I just had to let my feelings out and it helps I think maybe...
 
Hi Canyons, how good is it that you recognize that you may have a problem, most people do not get to this.Self-awareness will definitely play a big role in making your life better as it takes you out of denial (which so many people live in)
It sounRAB to me like you may have low self-esteem which in-turn creates insecurity in one's self and others? From what you have said the Alcohol is a part of self-medicating to make things better, the thing is , it possibly worked very well to start with but unfortunately when you do it too long it turns into part of the problem.
From what you have stated It does sound like you may have a problem with alcohol now, as you have come to rely on it and have developed particular drinking patterns that are well planned.You don't have to be a bum to be an alcoholic, lots of alcoholics keep down jobs, pay their bills, dress nicely and live in nice homes.
It sounRAB like you may have been to AA before, or know a little about it? AA is a great place to start as going to meetings will help you to determine if you have a problem. You will relate mostly to the feelings and emotions of other alcoholics, our stories may be vastly different but the reasons why we drink are nearly almost all the same, insecurity, not feeling good enough,low self-esteem, perfectionism, difficulty communicating feelings, depression, anxiety and trust to name but a few. If you do not address your problems it will get worse and you will lose more. I would really suggest AA, as you will make frienRAB with other like minded people.
Good Luck ,I Hope it all goes well and that you find some peace and direction in your life. LOu :wave:
 
Hello. Thank u for sharing all that with us. Honesty. It feels good afterwarRAB doesn't it? Well I usrf to drink alotta beer. I started it when my baby son died of SIRAB. The day he turned 4 wks old. I found that drinking nurabed my pain and anxiety with losing Kory. Since alcohol worked for this, I decided to use it for other things I struggled with. Before long, it was for anything unconfortable to help me deal with. Yes, I had those morning hangober too. I did thisdaily for yrs and yrs. great job! Keep writing. You will be so surprised just how many people do relate to you! Also, you are helping all of us, and yourself too, when u share your story. Thank You! Mykinzie.......
 
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