Aggressive mental problem..?

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Dangerous curves..

New member
Hello everyone. I know i just joined today, but please give me a serious answer. I am a female, 17 years old now.
Past: As a young child i was a very aggressive child. Hit, bit, bullied, fought, talked back. Didn't care about authority. I didn't really have emotional attachments to anyone or anything except a very few select people.Strangely, not in my family. I didn't have any emotional attachments to any of the animals we had, i in fact disliked them. I had foster brothers and i always fought with them. I had a strong sense of SELF and MINE.

Now: Im 17 years old now. I am still very aggressive and have been suspended from school for telling teachers to **** off, and when one of the other students get in my face its an instant decking or slam into the lockers. Male or female. I'm female and i am 5'4 and 110 lbs but really strong, i actually have abs and muscles. I know how to fight, and i fight hard. I work on a farm, hauling hay so im pretty tough. I still have no bonds with anyone. I never do anything that wont benefit me in some way, even if it benefits/helps them. I keep to myself and prefer to work alone. I don't like people and i have many types of anxiety disorders. I have only bonded to two dogs, and one person, unfortunately something happened and he disappeared for a while. During this time my mental state took a turn for the worst. I have this...feeling...to hurt..animals as well. I have acted upon these urges, in many ways, all torture to the animals. Pouring boiling water over them, kicking, punching, killing, shooting. If i dont do something to something else...this anger build up inside of me...and it eventually comes out badly. Almost blood boiling hatred.

I know this isnt normal, but its uncontrolable. I want help, but i dont want to go to a mental institute...please help me..

* 7 minutes ago
* - 4 days left to answer.

Additional Details
I do cut, im on antidepressant drugs...
 
I almost can feel what yoi're talking about.

You have to play smart. Be alert with your behaviour. Aggressiveness is a dead end, its an end of the rail and you will crash.

Infact, try to get out of that place, maybe there is something in there that triggers it.

Talk to a counsellor about it, he migiht put you in anger management.

You need to see some people who look at you as a person, a person that will comfort you, understand you. Yes that bullying might be affected you but there is a mighty answer for that, i dont know if you can take it. its called "Forgiveness."

All the best friend. Remember there are people there that do care if you are like this. Some will shelter you because of the way you brought up and you will have their mercy. Trust in God and pray.
 
look there are lots of drugs out there the worst thing that you can do is not tell your doctor what is working and not working. the pills could be making you worse. my aunt didnt find the right drug for almost 20 years! now she is great. don't be afraid and pray i promise it will help God promised us that he would never give us more than we can handle. Jesus also promised never to leave us or forsake us. Pray and hold them to their promises. the wrong medicine can make you lose it and you may end up locked up some where for a long time. keep your head up and remind yourself that these feelings are not real and be proactive in finding a medicine that works for you. Take care.
 
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