Addicted to sex, controlling your fantasy, and knowing what you really want?

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Darrel W

New member
Alrght, so here's my question/problem. I lost my virginity at age 20 but that didn't stop me from being stupid.

Over the last 9 years, I've slep with 6 different ppl (that I knew I didn't want a relationship w/ and they knew too) - the other 3 were in relationships.

I've sorta discovered that some parts of the bdsm/leather are interesting. But, I think that's because I like the whole dominance thing. I'm wondering a few things -- if and when I start going out on a date with someone, is that something I have to mention?

I feel like you don't have to indulge everything in their past, but the last person I met up for coffee kept talking about how much he hated promiscuity and I'm not for cheating or anything but I feel like I've been anything but that.... so I didn't say anything to him but that was that.

I've gone before for like a year being completely celibate...but then I always do something dumb like get the urge to go to a sauna or something like that -- maybe part of it is subconsciously I feel like no one's made these many mistakes and no one will really want me.

It's weird, I have a degree in psychlogy yet look whose asking for advice.So what I'm asking is w/regards to fetishes how do you know if it's part of u that is necessary for the other person to be involved with -- i might lose out on a great guy because I'm thinking they really need to be into the leather thing, when really I'm just looking for a dominant guy.

Should I stop watching porn w/leather to try to subdue my thoughts and see if they change? I'm planning on going celibate again for a long time, I do get the urge, but like most ppl, as soon as you relieve yourself, the urge is gone.
 
well if i had anything to say about this situation, i would say, first stop watching the porn with leather and all that. its not helping you. second. you don't have to tell him that you are interested in that kind of stuff right away. if he asks you questions about your sexual past, be honest when you tell him that you have hooked up with 9 people in your life. but how you go about getting off in the bedroom isn't any of his business until things start getting serious and you want to know what he thinks about it. if things do start getting serious, just drop little clues when talking sexy or something. see how he reacts. you may also discover that if you are with the right guy, then you may not even care about all that stuff anymore. just the fact that you are with him may be good enough for you. i am not saying that you should keep secrets, but there are also times when you shouldn't tell a person everything. those times would be when you are not really serious.

oh and by the way. good luck with finding a really good guy. i am sure he is out there waiting for you somewhere. but DO NOT decide to "surprise" him one night with this fetish. it could scare him off. like i said. just drop little hints in conversation. see how he reacts. good luck.
 
You need to wake up. Sleeping with all of them people you can catch something. All i know is that you young people need to be more careful.
 
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