A Poem from a Trying Poet..?

Well I like the first one better but it can be improved. I found ok but I think that it seemed a bit corny. The rythm of the poem wasn't the best. My advice is to make it sound very fluid and make it at a good pace.

P.S. If you differ what I say I totally agree. This is your poem. What you think is good is good. You don't need other people to choose for you.
 
Well I like the first one better but it can be improved. I found ok but I think that it seemed a bit corny. The rythm of the poem wasn't the best. My advice is to make it sound very fluid and make it at a good pace.

P.S. If you differ what I say I totally agree. This is your poem. What you think is good is good. You don't need other people to choose for you.
 
Well I like the first one better but it can be improved. I found ok but I think that it seemed a bit corny. The rythm of the poem wasn't the best. My advice is to make it sound very fluid and make it at a good pace.

P.S. If you differ what I say I totally agree. This is your poem. What you think is good is good. You don't need other people to choose for you.
 
Well I like the first one better but it can be improved. I found ok but I think that it seemed a bit corny. The rythm of the poem wasn't the best. My advice is to make it sound very fluid and make it at a good pace.

P.S. If you differ what I say I totally agree. This is your poem. What you think is good is good. You don't need other people to choose for you.
 
Well I like the first one better but it can be improved. I found ok but I think that it seemed a bit corny. The rythm of the poem wasn't the best. My advice is to make it sound very fluid and make it at a good pace.

P.S. If you differ what I say I totally agree. This is your poem. What you think is good is good. You don't need other people to choose for you.
 
Well I like the first one better but it can be improved. I found ok but I think that it seemed a bit corny. The rythm of the poem wasn't the best. My advice is to make it sound very fluid and make it at a good pace.

P.S. If you differ what I say I totally agree. This is your poem. What you think is good is good. You don't need other people to choose for you.
 
Which seasonal poem should I use for my English project?

Autumn

Autumn curls up at my feet
asks not very much from me..
but wants just the rain to
wash away my rush.
Because I always rush.

He dances with my hair
and tugs at my mind. And asks,
...to where?
Somewhere, somewhere, I brush it away.
It doesn't really matter today.

I want to walk to a hill
covered in kite tails. Where the children have played
but their memories, are still here.
And that's where I want to be.
Inside those talkative little things.
Inside where fair faces sing.

-OR-

Autumn Rain

Silence.
And then.
Silence.
And then.

The little pauses of
Autumn Rain
gives the world a place
to lay.
Gives me head
by the throne
of the Prince of seasons,
bringing me back home.

The only eyes of the house
are its windows.
The only escape of the world
is its backdoor.
But this rain
it makes us all lazy.
We just want to lie down
maybe tomorrow, maybe...

Thank you. :)
 
Well I like the first one better but it can be improved. I found ok but I think that it seemed a bit corny. The rythm of the poem wasn't the best. My advice is to make it sound very fluid and make it at a good pace.

P.S. If you differ what I say I totally agree. This is your poem. What you think is good is good. You don't need other people to choose for you.
 
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