A Green beaded bracelet from the children’s game “Pretty Princess” . Left on the table of the porch of the house on the hill. A message and a touch. Was that a wink? Good God was that a wink. Can you put it on me. Are you willing. What does this mean. I’m scared. Nervous shivering as we walk towards the misty tide. The cool air of the Ocean encroaches this moment. I’m 21 years old and I am about to kiss a girl for the first time. What shallow streams of longing have lead to this moment. A shocking realization that the world in which I was living in was, in fact, not the world of my true being.
“We met six years ago, we were kids. So much has changed since then” –A quote from the TV reality show, Millionaire Matchmaker. A 27 year old female millionaire who owns her own clothing company has asked a famous matchmaker to hook her up with a potential guy….. She mentions this previous six year relationship, they have a daughter together but he is just a different person then when they were young.
When They were young, such a mundane description of the lives we lead. The tragic realization that the years are heading towards oblivion and the age of adulthood is soon approaching. I’m 23 years old. My name is--------------- ----------------- --------------. My friends today call me ---… growing up I went by ----. I’m 23 years old and I am a virgin. People talk about the best years of your life and the way that things were back in the good old days. The good old days when you were young and had the world to look forward to. The time when you imagine everything is possible. As the days click by, all I can think about is love and emotion. When is the moment going to arrive. When can I look back and say yes that was great or yeah that really wasn’t a very good moment.
Some people regret their first times. Some people say to have it with someone special. They wish they could take it back. They wish they could have experienced it with someone special. They don’t know what it is like. You walk the world of compliments and moments of contemplation. “You’re a good looking guy, You’re sweet, Don’t worry about it and it will happen.”
Fuck that, I’ve been told all of the bullshit. I’ve been told all of the messages that they try to sell. My name is Jo e and I need to get laid. But getting laid is not everything that I want, more than having sex, I care about the emotion. I want to get my heart broken. I want it torn from the depths of my chest and I want to feel numb for eons to come. I want to go a week in a state of sadness and confusion. I want to know the sadness and the complexity of a relationship. I want to get high together and then become the only two in the universe of reality. I want to feel her lips against mine and taste what her soul has to offer. I want a night to last eternity and I want her to need me more than I’ve ever wanted anyone before. I want something that people talk about, something that people say is “special”. But I want it to be more than that. I want it to be more than special.
I’m waiting for you in this world of jumbled reality and distorted communication. I’m here to be whatever you want, I’m here to make you laugh, I’m here to make you feel wanted, I’m here to want you and I’m here to listen. I’m here to get to know you more than anyone else ever has. Don’t fucking tell me it can’t happen. What more do I have to look forward to. I want to feel all of that and I want it taken away. I want to Be Human.
“We met six years ago, we were kids. So much has changed since then” –A quote from the TV reality show, Millionaire Matchmaker. A 27 year old female millionaire who owns her own clothing company has asked a famous matchmaker to hook her up with a potential guy….. She mentions this previous six year relationship, they have a daughter together but he is just a different person then when they were young.
When They were young, such a mundane description of the lives we lead. The tragic realization that the years are heading towards oblivion and the age of adulthood is soon approaching. I’m 23 years old. My name is--------------- ----------------- --------------. My friends today call me ---… growing up I went by ----. I’m 23 years old and I am a virgin. People talk about the best years of your life and the way that things were back in the good old days. The good old days when you were young and had the world to look forward to. The time when you imagine everything is possible. As the days click by, all I can think about is love and emotion. When is the moment going to arrive. When can I look back and say yes that was great or yeah that really wasn’t a very good moment.
Some people regret their first times. Some people say to have it with someone special. They wish they could take it back. They wish they could have experienced it with someone special. They don’t know what it is like. You walk the world of compliments and moments of contemplation. “You’re a good looking guy, You’re sweet, Don’t worry about it and it will happen.”
Fuck that, I’ve been told all of the bullshit. I’ve been told all of the messages that they try to sell. My name is Jo e and I need to get laid. But getting laid is not everything that I want, more than having sex, I care about the emotion. I want to get my heart broken. I want it torn from the depths of my chest and I want to feel numb for eons to come. I want to go a week in a state of sadness and confusion. I want to know the sadness and the complexity of a relationship. I want to get high together and then become the only two in the universe of reality. I want to feel her lips against mine and taste what her soul has to offer. I want a night to last eternity and I want her to need me more than I’ve ever wanted anyone before. I want something that people talk about, something that people say is “special”. But I want it to be more than that. I want it to be more than special.
I’m waiting for you in this world of jumbled reality and distorted communication. I’m here to be whatever you want, I’m here to make you laugh, I’m here to make you feel wanted, I’m here to want you and I’m here to listen. I’m here to get to know you more than anyone else ever has. Don’t fucking tell me it can’t happen. What more do I have to look forward to. I want to feel all of that and I want it taken away. I want to Be Human.