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Prosecuting attorney. You need a law degree. You could work in the prison system with a degree in criminal justice. Then you could physically put the criminals in jail (and let them out when it was time to eat, exercise, etc.).

Palin's younger daughter was the one that accompanied her to the baseball game. Letterman's joke about a baseball player knocking up her daughter only makes sense if it applies to the daughter at the game. It would be hard to knock up someone not present, wouldn't it? I find it disturbing...