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i usually go shopping at home town buffet. this is a personal favorite, i wear it all the time http://www.funis2cool.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/creative-backpacks-07.jpg

well first the ipod has to go to jail of course, then ship the ipod a knife in a big box of shredded cheese! the cops will never notice. The ipod will then spend the next 20 years scratching a hole that takes him from his cell to the bathroom. No chicken for that boy if you know what i mean. ;)