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I need some heavy duty upholstery cleaner for a cream dining room suite which has seen 3 children grow up. I don't mind hiring a company or doing it myself. Any recommendations?

But it's all just an excuse for rude, selfish behavior. "The rules don't apply to me because I'm special! A few years back when I did security for a small university, one of the baseball players left his car in the middle of the (one way) road right in front of the building with their locker...

Dear Comcast; A hearty fuck you for losing my internet last night. For some dumb reason it suddenly dropped to slower than dial-up speeds, then I lost the whole thing. Being a tech support person myself, I immediately set out to figure out if the problem was on my end. At that point, the...

Stupid Back and Neck. I ended up calling in sick today because my upper back, neck and right shoulder and arm are hurting so much that there is no way I would have been able to be nice to people on the phone or even sit at my desk for eight hours. I've been sucking down 2-3 ibuprofin every 4...

Ok, Pain, it has been two weeks now. GET THE FUCK OUT OF ME! I'm down to three Vicodin and about a dozen Flexiril. No Refills. It's fucking hot out, and I can't go for a walk in this, because the meds make me feel hot even when I'm not outside. They just make it worse when I'm in the heat...

Had this conversation with my sister the other day, who is a building inspector and thus is in a position to write citations for violations. If you do something wrong, and get caught an punished, and your first reaction is to get indignant about it and scream about how you are a CHRISTIAN, then...

All the cool kids wear Hazmat suits. :p

Dear Customers; Look, just because we don't necessarily charge you for every support call you make to us doesn't mean we're stupid enough to compensate you for the time you spent working with us to resolve your issue. Next time this idiotic thought crosses your mind, try asking your Doctor or...

Someone in our department intentionally did something so mind-bogglingly stupid that he's not only going to be fired, but could end up sued from here to oblivion and blackballed from the industry. They don't know who it is. But they most certainly will, within 2-3 days. So what do they do...

You're allowed to wish Cancer on people if having it would disuade them from horribly misguided opinions involving it. Like one of my former bosses. I had a couple of minor bad things happen to me, nothing really horrible at all. But he was mad at me for something goddamned stupid and decided...

Way to end my working day, Bitch. I'm already completely wiped out from the TERRIBLE HORRIBLE PAIN in my back and right arm, and the drugs I'm taking to make me not scream and pass out from it. But 75 minutes of arguing with me about every motherfucking thing I suggest that you do while...

A mere six and a half hours and you're seemingly on the edge of cannibalism to survive?

You know, this idea that being bitten by a vampire is all sexy and cool would go straight out the window in a flash of screaming agony if they really did have a bunch of razor sharp teeth slashing into their jugular. It's really stupid "Oh, he's the ultimate bad boy*, but he won't hurt ME!**"...

Oh good lord, in a Volunteer position? Princess Highandmighty needs either a wakeup call or to be shuffled out the door rather than being left in place to drive out future volunteers.

I have to ask; Why is it almost always women that pull that "I've been here longer" crap? The only time I've seen men do it is in positions where Seniority is a recognized and major part of the food chain. When I worked at the small U, a woman I worked with pulled the "I've been here longer...

Stupid fucking greedy self-entitled customers. "I read on a message board that your company is giving away free stuff" That is not true. "I think you're wrong. I want free stuff" We're not giving away free stuff. "What is your name? Let me talk to your manager! I demand free stuff" No, you...

The big secret is that everyone is crazy. So the OP is a trick question.

Fucking Body, stop hurting. Especially stop hurting so much that a combination of Vicodin and Flexiril is not sufficient to douse the pain.

Fault as in fractures in rock, not as in somebody's fault.