Nope, there isn't. With laptops, you're pretty much stuck with what you bought -- only very limited upgrades are possible. The laptop doesn't have any place to fit any other graphics solution, it would have no way to supply it with power, and no way to remove the heat it would generate.
It doesn't make sense to compare them to ask which is 'better' since they do completely different things. JavaScript runs in the client, on the client's browser. PHP runs on the server side, launched by the web server.
You have some device connected to your phone line that doesn't have a proper DSL filter. It could be an alarm system, a cordless phone, a satellite TV receiver, a TiVo box, or an answering machine. But whatever it is, it's your problem.
Describing a problem with words like "it just doesn't work" isn't helpful. You have to tell us *exactly* what you tried and exactly why and how it didn't work.