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i look horrible with short hair and i don't really like longer hair my hair is straight naturally very dark brown -black Bonus Question" what are some shampoo's and conditioners that give less volume (im just not a huge fan of the volume other shampoo's give me)

my girlfriend is 4 months younger than i am. I am 16 and shes going to be 16 in a couple weeks and i was wondering if anyone (like her parents) could do anything to get me arrested when I'm 18 and shes 17 (we will have been together for 4 years by then)