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'Ski Lift' by MTW I heard the story many years ago Of a young damsel highly oversexed Who liked to ski, and quite the hungry ho Was by the lack of wangers highly vexed. She worked the chair lift in the evening hours And noticed the long shapely prong that rocked So rhythmically inside the old...

I walk bow-legged and I have for years The ladies blush though it attracts the queers Sometimes my friends you simply cannot win But tell me, is this being hung a sin? I mean, I maybe walk a little funny But film directors offer me big money In fact, they’ve come to pay me by the inch That’s why...