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    Dancing Amonst the Shade. Please critique?

    Dancing Amongst the Shade Love was a faucet made of gold In the summer’s early sunshine-- A girl whose fortune was untold Lying on a distant cloud nine. Dancing amongst the blacktop’s heat, Wearing a partially ripped dress Clouds parted for her quickened feet Sun arousing her tender breast...
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    Dancing Amongst the Shade, Comments?

    Dancing Amongst the Shade Love was a faucet made of gold In the summer’s early sunshine-- A girl whose fortune was untold Lying on a distant cloud nine. Dancing amongst the blacktop’s heat, Wearing a partially ripped dress Clouds parted for her quickened feet Sun arousing her tender breast...
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    I Confess, a Poem. What do you think?

    I Confess I confess. I am a sinner. I have walked into the darkness, And I have came back into light. Things I have seen and done Will never leave my thoughts alone. I’ve seen the utmost deception of Man. Killing and stealing. Raping And Depraving. We are all one. And I have seen the...
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