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I was at this party once and this drunk guy was leaning against the counter eating something out of a box. When I looked more closely at the box I saw that it was dog biscuits. So I told him, and he looked at the box, shrugged his shoulders and kept on eating.

Mr. Banus, the gym teacher at the middle school I went to used to put ketchup in his coffee. It turned out that the ketchup was to mask the smell of the vodka that he put in his coffee. Needless to say, he got fired.