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I HAVE £200 IN PENNIES IF YOUR GAME LOL

There is two woman that go fishing together all the time. One lady asked the other,why is it that I never get nothing but you always seem to get the fish. Her friend said, Well every morning I pull the covers back and see witch side my husbands p*nis is laying. If it's on the right I fish of...

When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea. No sooner were the papers delivered when a friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea." Replied the...

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, 'What's the story?' He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor' She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?' SPEEDING TICKET...

Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if all of them went it would be hell. How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer? None. It should be open by the time she brings it. Why is a Launderette a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a...