Aha.
1: What goes up a chimney down but can't go down a chimney up?
2: Rich men want it, poor men have a lot of it, you can't get rid of it.
3: (to get this you should say it in a deep southern accent, all you have to do is translate it out of slang)
"M R ducks."
"M R not."
"C M wings."
"Oh...