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So last week I was sitting outside in my circle of garden gnomes... naked and oiled up.... in which i like to sacrifice young goats.. and well i think they might be a little jealous of my good looks... just as those oiled up sixth graders were last week while i was at the park looking for...

I really like apple pie...I think it's amazing. But then I saw the movie "American Pie" and before that, I thought pie was for eating. Now it seems like the pie "wants me to have sex with it" per soy. The other day I was in McDonalds and I was waiting in line, and the girl is like, would you...