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This is cheating. Do your own homework.

I'm sure you could incorporate the old Thighmaster, as well as Tony Little's Gazelle somehow.

Nope. The typical tactic ignores a basic premise of effective argumentation--taught in college composition classes across the country--which acknowledges, but respectfully and logically disagrees with, the opposition. Edit: Ha--the libs are proving your theory as we speak! They can't even see...