Isn't this like, the forth/fifth time you've posted an extract of this story?
Instead of posting it on here, post it on a writing website instead.
eg. fictionpress
dont map them out from start to finish... that makes it boring after a while.
set small goals, like finishing the next chapter before friday
and if you come up with an idea, write a thousand words of the first chapter, then you can be sure if its good or not.
novel writing is trial and error...