Recent content by hollywoodBactor

They established through conquest---war. Which "Mexica" peoples" Aztecs? The Aztecs were ruthless with captured prisoners of war, cutting their hearts out in blood ceremonies.

Yea, it starts with a BOOM! Try changing all the "I could hear" to "I heard" Drop "just" Get rid of that adverb "barely," get rid of that other "just." Drop "like" and "but." The last sentence is great, but you don't need to add "it was amazing." Try to be more direct. It is a good start and...