do like GCG does and go to games for the trough hand job sessions in the mens room.
cubs = gay
the restrooms at wrigley...they tinkle in troughs, where all men are as one nodamnhomo
I would up the ante and ask the the "King of Burgers" do the waiting on you and you the lovely little lady himself...sure he has a big head, perma-creepy smile and the ability to scare even inmates into submission..however, he is become quite the cultural icon and can see no other options...you...